Page 26 of Learning to Rule

I shake the thoughts from my head and move onto the next pose. A back bend to end the class before we do our relaxation.

Lying down on the floor, I instruct my class how to get into the pose, and we hold it for a few moments. I feel the stretch in my body as a memory of Dalton trying the same position hits me. It was comical to begin with. He’s a strong man, but with that comes the need for additional effort to get his frame off the floor. I was able to lift my body into the pose like I weighed nothing, so when he couldn’t do it at first, he berated himself for being weak. We both collapsed in fits of hysterics as he tried. Eventually, he was able to do the move and looked perfect doing it.

I feel the tears pool in my eyes. I’ve been an emotional mess since I returned to Florida. Everything around me reminds me of Dalton. Just being in the yoga room breaks my heart because I can’t stop looking at the spot where he performed his yoga in front of me.

Why does it have to be so hard to be with the man I love?

Why can’t I be stronger?

“Elodie.” Jake, one of my class who’s on the autism spectrum, breaks me out of my reflection. When I look up, I realize my students are all standing around me. I come out of the pose and sit up. It’s then I realize I have tears streaming down my face. “Are you all right?” Jake asks.

I nod yes but then let out a loud sob of anguish.

No, I’m not all right.

My heart is broken.

I love Dalton, and I want to be with him no matter what.

I can’t live without him.

“No, I’m not all right. I think I’ve made a big mistake,” I cry. Maria, one of the older members of the group, hands me a tissue as I continue to sob. “I love him so much, and I left him. I walked away from him because I was so scared of his life. Why did I do it?” I continue to sob.

The class takes a seat on the floor, sitting with legs crossed and looking at me.

Maria reaches out to take my hand. “You did what you thought was right at the time. Prince Dalton is intoxicating. You haven’t known him for long, but anyone who knows you can see you’re desperately in love with him. Even me with my poor sight due to these cataracts.”

Jake takes my other hand. “We followed what you were doing in Janastria, and it was intense. It was very different to coming here every day and doing yoga. Serendipity is so named because it’s a quiet place. I can’t even begin to imagine all the different directions you were being pulled in Janastria. With my autism, I would have runaway a lot sooner.”

“And every time we watched you, we saw the truth behind your actions. The person you really are. Even with that stupid drunken queen. My God, I’m half blind, but even I saw you were trying to keep her upright when you fell over,” Maria continues.

I can’t help but let out a little laugh at Maria’s comment. It’s followed by a big sob, though. I’m worried Dalton will hate me for giving up.

“What if Dalton hates me for leaving him? For running away?” I ask.

Most of my students shake their heads in frustration.

“Really? Dalton hate you? The man has the biggest hard-on known to man for you.” Jake blows his cheeks out with annoyance before turning to Maria with a sheepish look on his face. “Apologies, Miss Maria, for my turn of phrase.”

“None needed. I agree. He really does. I occasionally witnessed it when he was looking at Elodie in the yoga classes he attended. Very impressive indeed.”

I gasp. “Maria, I’m starting to think that you don’t have any issues with your eyes at all.”

“It’s all certified by a doctor, so I’ll fight you all the way on that one.” She winks at me.

“I know I’m probably never going to be able to live independently from my parents. It’s not safe for me to do so.” Jake takes over the conversation again. “It doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep trying to improve myself. I’ll be pushed back down numerous times, but I have a strong courage inside me. You have that too, Elodie. It’s one of the reasons I come here all the time—you inspire me. What that king did to you was awful, but you didn’t fail any of his tasks in our eyes, or the eyes of Dalton or the people of Janastria, I suspect. They will fall in love with you, just as we have, because of who you are. You are a survivor and the epitome of kindness and dignity.”

“You have an extraordinary strength inside you. You lost your parents at a young age, but you’ve grown with the experience and haven’t let it destroy you. Dalton knows that. This place is where you were born—it’s all you’ve ever known, and it’s your safety blanket. But what you haven’t realized, probably because everything’s happened so quickly, is that Dalton has broken that bond. Here isn’t where you need to run to anymore. Dalton is your new home. In his arms is the only place you’ll ever truly be happy again. That’s why you’re sitting here sobbing your heart out.” Maria finishes the lecture.

My students are telling me what my heart knows already, but my brain has taken a bit longer to catch up with.

“What about all of you?” The thought of leaving them worries me.

“We’ll be perfectly fine. You can post the videos online, and we can do them at our regular time. We can all take turns to be the leader of the group.” Jake smiles at me. He helps me to my feet. “If I ever get the courage to board a plane, then we could have a regular retreat in Janastria, and you do have a private jet at your disposal. You can come back here to see us whenever you want. It wouldn’t be the end, Elodie—that’s not the sort of person you are. You’ll always want to be checking in on us.”

Maria pulls me to her. “You’ve given so much to us, Elodie. It’s now time for you to take something for yourself and be happy. Go be with your prince. Make the call.”

While everyone around me disperses to collect their belongings, I reach into my oversized handbag—the small clutch was abandoned the second I got off the plane. I pull my phone out, but before I have a chance to open it, a notification catches my eye, and I drop the phone on the floor.

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