Page 14 of Learning to Love

Five breaths?

I'm not sure I'll be able to hold it for one.

I won't be beaten, though. I can do quick breaths.

"Inhale, 2, 3, 4," Elodie instructs, "and hold, 2,3,4…exhale, 2, 3, 4."

I'm going to die.

Elodie repeats her slow and painful count four more times before allowing us to come out of the pose. I've carried incredibly heavy weights during army training exercises, and I thought that hurt, but I think I might have just pulled various limbs from the socket.

"Well done, everyone, next pose."

Another one?

Please let it be more comfortable.

Over the next five minutes, I learn it isn't as I get my body in a strange position, which has me posing like an Indian warrior. I think every muscle in my body is burning.

How can Elodie call it relaxing? It's like torture.I should recommend it to the Janastrian version of the FBI as a means of getting information out of criminals.It'd be damn effective!

"Our next pose is the tree? Everyone is doing really well, but take this one easy. It's the hardest we'll do today, and I don't want anyone to injure themselves." Elodie looks over to my bodyguard and me. "I would recommend the lower impact version of this pose for the first time."

I flick her a wave of my hand. "I'm more than capable of doing the harder one. I can do whatever you need me to do to achieve it."

"Fine," Elodie responds through pursed lips.

When I turn my head to my bodyguard, he looks at me like I'm insane.The jury is probably out on that at the moment.I think this will be my one and only yoga class…ever!

Elodie gets us into the pose, so we’re supporting our weight on one leg while our other leg is stretched out and on tiptoe. Our arms are extended above our heads, touching our ears.

I'm not sure what she's talking about—this pose is easy. I do my five breaths and get ready to move onto something else.

"For those who want to, now move the non-supporting foot to the knee of the supporting leg." Elodie demonstrates.

All right, I can do that. Trying my hardest to balance, I copy her. I wave about like a sunflower in the wind and am thankful for a wall nearby, which I use to support myself every now and then. We do our five breaths again. My arms start to ache from being above my head for so long in this position and from being stretched in the previous poses. Lactic acid starts to build up in them.

"You can put your arms by your side if they start to ache," Elodie informs us, but stubbornly, I won't be beaten.

"I'm going to move onto the final element of the pose now. Please don't do this if you are feeling any pain at all," Elodie says softly but sternly to the class.

At this point, my entire body is a ball of pain. I will never criticize yoga ever again. My lesson has been well and truly learned, but I won't be beaten.

I'm pretty sure my chin drops to the floor when Elodie brings her entire non-supporting foot up to her groin and rests it there.How is that even fucking possible?

I slowly raise my foot from my knee to my groin, wobbling all over the place. The lactic acid is now in my supporting leg as well, but determination will get me there.

Ping…

The noise ricochets around the walls of the studio as something in my groin pops. Red hot agony shoots through me, and I fall to the floor in a crumpled heap, screaming.

"Dalton!" Elodie runs over to me. My bodyguard is at my side as well. "What's happened?"

"Groin," I manage to speak through the nauseating pain.

"I told you not to push it." Elodie shakes her head. "I could see you were struggling. Of all the stupid, pig-headed…you are so frustrating!"

She turns to her class. "Michael, please would you take over from me for the relaxation segment of the session. I'm going to help His Highness back to his apartments and get a doctor for him. Will that be all right?"

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