Page 18 of Redemption

I can’t help but laugh at his comment. Although I haven’t met all of them, yet, over the last few weeks, I’ve learned about the great friendship between the twelve men who make up this group called the Cavalieri. Arthur, their leader, also remains elusive, but I’ve spoken to him once on the phone.

Sneakily, I reach out and move the jar of mayonnaise Gawain has placed on the table. He takes a bottle of hot sauce out of the basket and goes to place it directly where the mayonnaise now is. He growls.

“You moved it.”

I look innocently up to the sky.

“Who me?”

“You’ll pay for that.” Gawain comes around the table, but I instantly freeze and lower to my knees before him. I can’t stop myself from doing it. I was the one who started this, but my brain has flipped from playful one minute to terrified the next.

“I’m sorry.” I bow down low.

“Megan, it’s ok. I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

Gawain comes down to his knees before me. He places his hand under my chin and lifts my head up so our eyes can meet.

“I was going to tickle you? I’m sorry.”

I take a few moments and do the breathing exercises the counselor showed me. I’m struggling to calm myself, though, because I’m getting angrier ever second. I don’t want to be this way. I was playing a game and having fun, then the next thing I know, I’m on my knees waiting to be punished. I’m a broken rag doll to a man’s whim.

“ARRGGHHH!” I open my mouth and scream out loud. Gawain jumps back, and I scream again, the sound echoing around the silent clearing we’re in. Bors jumps out of his car, his brows furrowed together in concern. Getting to my feet, I scream a third time, and this time, it feels freeing. I spin around in a circle shouting at the top of my voice.

“Ok?” Gawain tentatively asks when I finally silence.

“Argh!” I scream again.

“Ok, if you need to let off a bit more steam, then go for it.” He waves his hand, gesturing for me to continue screaming.

I let my arms fall down at my sides, and my head circles around and around as I continue screaming.

“Argh!.” A masculine voice joins mine. I look up and realize Gawain has started screaming as well.

“It looked fun.” He shrugs.

We both look over to Bors who’s got out of the truck and is now staring at us like we’ve gone insane. Maybe we have.

“Come on,” Gawain shouts at him. “Let it all out.”

“I ain’t getting anything out for you,” Bors replies and heads to the truck. He lifts a foot up to climb in but then stops and lets out a loud, deep scream. Then he turns and winks at me before getting back into the vehicle and turning his music up louder.

“That was fun,” Gawain says and returns to the table where he moves the mayo and replaces it with the hot sauce.

“It was different.” I reply and resume my seat. When Gawain isn’t looking, I take a deep breath, and reaching out to the two condiments, I swap them around again. I’m breathing fast. My hands are shaking, but I want to do this. I want to play and be normal. It’s a little thing, but if I can do this without freaking out again, then it shows me I can be ordinary. Gawain turns back and instantly notices what I’ve done. He slowly comes around to my side of the table. This time, he lowers to his knees in front of me. He reaches up and puts a hand on my cheek. I don’t flinch or move even a muscle. I’m rooted to the seat, terrified of what happens next but knowing I need to trust him not to hurt me.

“I’m seeing the real you, and it’s beautiful. Someone I’ve never met before: brave, powerful, kind, and with a sense of humor to match my own. I’m here to protect you.” He pauses and looks down at the ground. The warmth of his hand pressed against my cheek sends a searing surge of heat through my body. I don’t know what it is I’m feeling at the moment. It’s scaring the life out of me, but I’m sure it’s normal. This is the person I should be, not a slave, but a human with feelings and emotions.

“Kiss me.” My plea is an almost silent whisper in the air.

Gawain pushes up a little and brings his lips to mine. They’re warm and soft but masculine at the same time. The little prickles of hair around his face tickle me. Neither of us move, it’s not a kiss of exploration or want. It’s just skin on skin, but it’s what I need…what we both need.

Eventually, he pulls back.

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I asked you to.”

“I’m not the right sort of man for you.”

“I don’t think I have a sort. Up until this morning, I thought I hated all men.” I reach out and take his hand in mine. “Be my friend, Gawain. Slowly, help me learn how to behave like a girl my age should.”

Gawain pushes back up to his feet and reluctantly let’s go of my hand.

“I made a promise to you. You’re with me for as long as you need. I’ll do whatever it takes for you. I’ll give you a life back even if it kills me.”

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