Page 16 of A Father's Insistence

Chapter Eight

Joanna

The lie that tripped so easily from my tongue last night has haunted me ever since. Thankfully, Theo left early this morning to seek support for what he termed, ‘an oncoming battle’ with the Cavendish brothers to unseat Nicholas as the head of the Oakfield Society. Theo’s father has given him a list of people to canvas, so I’m sure they’ll all be people the Viscount has already ensured will support his cause. My father’s support of Viscount Hamilton after what that man had done to Victoria, his own daughter, proves to me there are no morals left within the men of the society. I wish I could persuade Theo to leave it behind and disappear to a different country, but I’ve no chance while he’s adamant at clearing his father’s name. A name I know is guilty as sin for crimes against me, and I’m pretty sure is equally as guilty on all other charges. Maybe one day I’ll be able to persuade Theo of his father’s evil actions? But that time is not now. I’m still too scared to tell the truth. The lies are easier since I know I won’t be beaten for telling them. It’s ironic because in childhood I was punished for the little white lies I told my parents. But these aren’t little. They are the sort that could destroy innocent people, and I don’t know how to stop them without having to face more of the agonizing degradation of rape and violence I’ve become accustomed to.

I need to stop thinking this way and start my day. I promised Theo I would try today. Before I was taken, I was learning graphic design in my spare time. I knew I may not have a future so didn’t want to specialize, but I enjoyed taking pictures and manipulating them on the computer. Theo asked me the other night what I would like to do, and I told him about the graphics and the photography. The next day, I’d had an all singing and dancing camera delivered to me along with a top specification Mac laptop. I’d also been enrolled onto an online course with the view to doing a degree in graphic design if I wanted too. I was stunned but impressed. I’d spent some time yesterday acquainting myself with the computer, but I want to use the camera today to take photos of the roses in the garden. They really are spectacular and would make a fantastic canvas to work with on the computer.

Retrieving the camera from within the specially laid out cupboard in my bedroom, I check the battery, which is fully charged. I then open the hinged compartment where the memory card is stored and pop a new one in. Theo also bought me several memory cards in spite of the fact each of them probably holds over six thousand pictures, even with high resolution settings enabled on the camera. I’m not sure how many photos he expects me to take.

Placing the camera strap over my neck, I slip on my lightweight shoes and make my way down into the garden. It’s a beautiful day, not as hot as it has been over the previous weeks, which is a relief since we’re living in a house designed in an era when air conditioning didn’t exist. A slight breeze rustles through the leaves of the trees, and I inhale deeply to allow the fresh scents of the garden to settle inside my nostrils. The fragrances are calming and decadent after a year of nothing but four musty walls.

I start walking toward a collection of roses growing over an arbor in the corner of the garden. They are bright red and remind me of blood. Checking the settings on my camera, I look into the viewfinder and start snapping a few pictures. When I’m happy with my first foray into capturing the beauty of the setting, I flick the review mode button on the camera and look at the pictures I’ve taken.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” The soft feminine voice comes from behind me, and I spin around quickly, dropping the camera on the ground. My heart beats rapidly when I see Victoria standing in front of me, and a memory flashes in my head of our only other meeting. All of us, in our white linen dresses, standing before Nicholas and the previous Duke of Oakfield while we wait to hear our fate. She appears to be nothing like the terrified young girl she was back then. She looks glamorous in her tight black jeans and red tunic top. You couldn’t tell she’d had a baby only just over a month ago. “The roses are the one thing I miss about this place, apart from Theo of course. I’ve started a rose garden at Oakfield Hall, but it’ll be a few years before they are as beautiful as here. Around by the swimming pool, they are even better. You should take some photos there.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I take a few steps back from her. “Nicholas isn’t here is he?”

“No. He’s not happy I’m here either, but I need to talk with you. We are the only two survivors from the trials, and I need to know what really happened to you. Not the lies you told my brother last night. If Theo is in trouble, I will look out for him.”

“They weren’t lies,” I stutter out before I have a chance to think about what I’m saying.

“You’re saying Nicholas and William held you captive for a year, and I didn’t know about it?” Victoria rolls her eyes.

“Yes,” I try to reply with authority, but I’m shaking so much I have to lean against a nearby bench to support myself.

Victoria rubs her hand against her forehead before stepping closer to me. I jump away from her and find a tree to support me this time, instead.

“I’m not going to harm you. We’ve both been through enough hurt. I don’t know for certain what happened to you, but I know it involved my father. He bought you that day. I saw it with my own eyes.”

“No. Nicholas did.”

“Joanna, please.”

“I need you to leave, or I’ll call for help.”

Victoria exhales an exasperated snort.

“This is my childhood home. Nobody here will throw me off the premises if I choose to be here.”

“Please leave.” I muster as much courage as I can and turn away from her and start to walk back to the house. She catches up to me, though, and places her hand on my shoulder. I can’t help the scream that escapes from my mouth. “Don’t touch me.” I push her away but then cower back when I realize what I’ve done. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

We are by the entrance to the house, now, and I flatten my back against the wall waiting for her fury to explode and the pain to start when she beats me.

“I won’t hurt you, Joanna. I’m not my father. He gave me away without telling me anything about what would happen to me. Do you know what I went through because of him? I was degraded in front of the society with a scold’s bridle on and nothing else. I was naked, and they beat me until I was left unconscious for a few days. I walked across hot coals, and I saw one of the girls put a pistol to her head and kill herself.”

I let out a loud gasp and grip tightly to my stomach.

“No.”

I want to cover my ears and shut her out. She was hurt, but now she’s okay. She’s not a broken liar like me.

“Do you know who saved me?” Victoria asks, but I only half hear her, and she knows it, so she grabs either side of my face and forces me to listen. “Nicholas Cavendish. He saved me. He’s a good man and is trying to rid the Oakfield Society of men like the old Duke and my father. He’s the father of my daughter, and I’ve left him alone looking after her at the moment. Would I do that if I thought him capable of doing what you accuse him of? Joanna, we can help you. Whatever it is they hold over you, we can put a stop to it and save you. You must trust me. We have to tell Theo the truth. We have to save him from doing something he’ll regret in the long run. Please, you have to listen to me.” Victoria is pleading her case to me, but I can’t do what she wants. I can’t. He’ll come for me—my father will know and so will hers. They probably know Victoria’s here already. I’ll be beaten … raped. I can’t. I need the normality of a life with Theo. He’s the only one who can take care of me—he’s told me as much. I have to support him and what he wants. He’s my husband now. He’s the only one who can save me, and in return, I’ll save him by whatever means necessary—if that requires me telling more lies, then I will. I’ll lie to save my husband because he’s the only man who’s never hurt me. Nicholas Cavendish isn’t the good man Victoria is making him out to be. He branded me: he took a red-hot iron and burned his society’s crest into my thigh. Would a man trying to put an end to the way his society treats women really do that? Theo can bring the society down. He’s the only one. He can get rid of them all, even his father. My brain flits between one fact and another like a washing machine on spin cycle. The confusion is rife in my head, but focusing on Theo is the one thing I can do to bring me clarity.

“Nicholas Cavendish and his brother raped and abused me,” I tell Victoria.

She lets go of me and steps back, and I see the defeat cascading through her body. She’d expected me to roll over and join her, but I don’t know if what she promises is real. Nicholas branded me, I repeat in my head to justify my decision. “Please leave.”

Victoria nods.

---