Page 30 of Tainted Reasoning

“I don’t need to see others like me to know I’m wired wrong.”

“That’s not why I brought you here. This place has been helping children ever since the onset of better diagnosis and understanding of autism, in the early nineties. You and I both know of the intolerance to it in your world. I just wanted you to see that in the wider world it’s more common than you think. If you speak to any of the doctors here, they will tell you that with advances in assessment, it will be more common to be on the spectrum than not in a few years.

“But you know what I’m like?” William lowers his voice and leans into me.

“You won’t hurt anyone here. Please. Just five minutes. If it’s too much, we’ll leave.”

“Five minutes,” William states as Eve comes back to us with badges, and I exhale the breath I’ve been holding since he realized the nature of the center we’re now in.

“Please go through, they’re expecting you.” Eve smiles at me, and I nod a little thanks to her. William takes hold of my arm as I lead him through the security doors.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I need to know things, Tamara. I was prepared to meet normal children. I can already feel my heart beating faster because a surprise has been sprung on me. I can’t handle them. You have to be honest with me, or you risk a meltdown.”

“I didn’t think you’d come if I told you the real reason.”

“I probably wouldn’t have,” William responds truthfully. “But you have to give me a chance, and a choice.”

“I will, next time.”

William goes silent as we stand in front of another door. It’s closed, but behind it, I can hear the happy chatter and laughter of children. He flicks his ear and then his nose. I give him a minute to compose himself, but his movements are getting worse. His fists clench then unclench in between the tics. I know he’s struggling. I open my mouth and softly sing.

“Hush, little baby, don’t say a word,

Mama’s going to buy you a mocking bird.

And if that mockingbird don’t sing,

Mama’s going to buy you a diamond ring.”

His fists unclench, and his arms lower to his side. He takes a deep inhalation and then nods.

“I’m ready.”

I push open the door, and we are greeted with lots of happy, smiling faces. Many are children, but some are adults. The staff wear black t-shirts with a little puzzle piece in the corner. Off to the left is a room, which I know to be the sensory room. It’s furnished with small beds, and there are soft bricks of varying sizes in it. The lights are low intensity and multi-colored. It’s been purposefully designed, so it won’t overstimulate the younger children, but it will allow them to play and explore. At the back of the main area is a computer room for the older children, containing a PlayStation and X-Box, along with several high spec Mac computers. They are monitored by staff because we once had a child who was so high functioning he tried to hack into MI5. I’ve watched some of the children in there before, and I’m amazed by the skills they possess in relation to coding and computer programing. I’m not in the least surprised everything is monitored by our tech genius, Dave. Off to the right is a small kitchen with a few tables for people to sit at and eat if they want to. Cooked meals can’t be prepared here, but people can make sandwiches and the like. This area of the building is specifically for the day care parents. It’s a place for mums and dads to come and talk to other parents as well as to highly trained staff members who are available at all times, offering advice. This is not all the center provides, though. It also has respite and permanent housing facilities for those who need a break or can’t live alone. In fact, this place has everything needed to help those with autism live life to the fullest.

“Hello.” A little boy stands at William’s legs. I’ve seen him before and know him as Cory. He reaches out and touches the material of William’s formal trousers before quickly pulling his hand back. His little face creases up as though he’s musing on something, and then he reaches out and touches the fabric again. “I like your trousers.”

Shifting my gaze to William I see his hand start to lift toward his face, but he stops its progression and instead holds it out to Cory.

“Hello, I’m William,” he informs the little boy and kneels down, so he’s at his level. “Can I tell you a secret? I like your trousers better.” Cory looks down at his jogging bottoms and then back at William. “I usually like to be comfortable, but I thought I should dress up today. If I’d known you’d be wearing jogging bottoms, I would’ve as well.”

A woman pushes through the crowd of people starting to assemble around us. She’s Cory’s mum.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologizes, grabbing the little boy and pulling him to her. “He’s got a thing about different fabrics. I hope he hasn’t made your trousers dirty.”

“Please. It doesn’t matter. I was just telling him I wish I’d worn my jogging bottoms like him. I feel overdressed.”

“You’re an important man. I’m sure nobody minds what you wear.” The young mum blushes, and I try to stifle a laugh when I realize she thinks William is attractive. Certainly, with his broad shoulders, imposing height, and stunning good looks, he’s the most desirable man I’ve ever met.

“Thank you.” William immediately looks down to the ground, not being sure how to handle the compliment.

“Cory.” A little girl approaches us. I scan my brain, struggling to recall her name, but when she places her hands on her hips, I see the supports on her wrists and remember straight away this is Lexie. As well as being on the spectrum, she also has hyper-mobility and dyspraxia. “You weren’t supposed to touch the Earl. That’s what they told us during the talk this morning. They said smile politely, don’t touch him, and don’t talk to him unless he speaks to you first. We have to follow the rules.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Cory’s little bottom lip quivers as though he’s going to cry. “I couldn’t help it. I needed to know what his trousers felt like.”

Lexie keeps her hands on her hips, and for a minute I think she’s going to tell the poor boy off again. She doesn’t though, instead, she gives him a cuddle, and then pulls him off to play with his still blushing mother in tow.

---