Page 18 of Tainted Reasoning

“Tamara.”

“I have to hear it from you. I need to know why I have a bruise forming around my neck. It’s the only way I can understand what happened in my bedroom. I know I agreed to everything, but there’s a part of me that’s scared, not only because of what you did to me but also because it resulted in the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“What!” I exclaim and jerk her toward me. I pull the dressing gown away from where it’s tightly wrapped around her neck. “It excited you? The monster I am?”

“It excited and scared me at the same time. Please, I need to know everything. I have to understand. At the moment, I’m terrified of what it means for both of us.”

My breath catches at her words, and I get the overwhelming urge to put some distance between us. I slide from the bed, despite being still naked underneath the covers, and reach for a pair of jogging bottoms, which are neatly folded on a chair in the corner of the room. I hear Tamara gasp behind me when she sees my state of undress. At the last moment, I turn to face her, so she can see my dick standing at half-mast with the need for her body. She looks down at the bed as I pull my jogging bottoms all the way up.

“I have to understand,” she repeats, and I take a seat on the chair.

“My father finished himself inside her ass. When he pulled out the girl screamed, again, and I remember seeing the blood mixed with my father’s semen leaking from her. He’d been uncaring with her. She was nothing more than a set of holes to abuse. It felt wrong to me, but I knew nothing better. I’d never had a positive feminine role model in my life. My nanny was ordered about by my father and shown little respect. It wasn’t until I had access to the internet and television that I realized men should respect women and not abuse them. Somehow though, the darkness has stayed within me from that first encounter.”

Leaning back into the chair, I allow the story of my downfall to tumble from my lips. I’m unable to look at Tamara as I speak. That fascinating spot on the floor is back, occupying my ardent stare.

“My father put himself away and pushed me toward the woman. She lay back on the bed and parted her legs. I’d seen a pussy before because Nicholas had a thing for porn magazines, and he’d bought me some. I was more interested in the anatomy of that particular part of a woman than anything else. It was interesting to see a real-life vagina in front of me. She was shaven bare, so I was able to see everything. I stood in front of her and pulled her outer lips apart to see the sensitive flesh inside. It was glistening, and I knew in some way what my father had done to her, she found it enjoyable. She’d liked being taken roughly, despite the pain that must have surged through her body. She beckoned me with her finger, and I lowered my underwear. My dick was already hard, having been turned on by the situation. Pushing myself bare inside of her, I remember it feeling soft and wet. Welcoming. After a few tentative thrusts, my father came over to me and started screaming at me, accusing me of showing my innocence, telling me the woman wanted me to fuck her like the man I should be and not the imbecile my mother had spawned. Something inside me snapped, and I just remember my hips bucking wildly. I was only sixteen, but I was strong. I took from the woman without care while she accepted everything. I don’t know why, but at the end I placed my hands around her neck and squeezed. She screamed out in orgasm, and it took me over the edge. When I came down, she wasn’t breathing. I’d choked her so hard I’d completely cut off her breathing. Everything after that was such a blur. The woman was revived and paid off, but it was my father’s laugh that haunts me to this day. It was evil, and it was the only time he addressed me as his son. ‘Like father like son’ were his exact words. I’d made him proud.”

The room falls silent, neither Tamara or I speak again for a good few minutes. Both of us are trying to take in everything that has just been said. I’m sick, twisted, and freaky. She needs to run from me, right now, before I crush her under the weight of who and what I truly am.

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