Page 4 of Shattered Fears

CHAPTER TWO

“Quick, hand me the wipe?” Scott waved his hand like a madman at Zain.

“What wipe?” The big bear looked around.

“The one there, no, not there, there.” Scott was frantically waving now, but Zain still had no idea what wipes the lion was talking about. The bedroom his friend shared with Emma, his partner, looked like a bomb had hit it. The two of them had become parents to twins, six weeks ago, and the home in which they all lived together had descended into chaos. “Zain, hurry up.”

The squirming little baby, Morocco, rolled around and lifted his chubby legs up. He didn’t have a diaper on because they were in the middle of changing it.

“What the fuck is that?” Zain jumped out of the way when a flood of brown mess came flying out of Morocco’s bottom.

“Well, it isn’t chocolate sauce,” Scott grumbled. They both gagged when they discovered the present from the lion cub was all over Scott’s jeans. “This is why you have to be quicker, man. If they aren’t puking, it’s weeing and/or this.”

“Maybe, I should let someone else help you.” Zain stepped backward. “I’m not sure that I’m cut out for changing diapers.” With those words, he turned heel and left the room like a coward with his tail between his legs. Those babies really did require a lot of energy. Something which, as a bear with a penchant for lazing around in the sun, he didn’t have. He had to admire Scott, though. The lion had been the epitome of laziness in the past, but all that had changed, and now he was a doting father and partner to Emma. The tightness appeared in his chest, which he often felt when he thought about families, and he rubbed the ache. A family was something he’d never have. He knew who his mate was, but he’d never be able to have her. He’d never have the chance to speak to her, hold her close, or whisper words of affection into her ear. He’d never again be able to feel himself skin on skin with her, because her father wouldn’t accept him for what he was: a shifter. He could never ask her to leave her family. He knew how important they were; he missed his parents every day. When he was nineteen, his mother and father died in a car accident while they were on holiday in Canada. He’d been pulled from the wreckage of their SUV, barely alive, and had spent several weeks in a coma in the hospital. When awakened, he discovered that his parents’ death had been at the hands of a drunk driver. It had broken him for a while, but Isobel had helped him recover. It was during this time he discovered how important family was to Isobel and realized he needed to leave. A few short months later, he disappeared from her life, and even though he still saw her regularly, it was from the shadows and would remain that way forever.

Zain sat with his legs hanging over the jetty, and his bare feet dangling into the waters of Lake McDonald. He’d come out here to think, after running away from Morocco’s smelly diapers. He was lonely, so very lonely. Though he had friends, he didn’t have companionship, and a bear needed that. The sun was shining overhead; it was a beautiful day in the park. He removed his coat because he was far too hot wearing it. They needed to keep up the appearance that they were regular humans, when they were in the populated areas of the park, but it often left him a sweaty mess. He dipped his fingers into the pot of honey between his thighs. It had become an obsession of his, since he left Isobel. He was sure the others thought he was crazy, but in his mind he’d exchanged one sweet nectar for another. He was in a funk and needed to get over it. There was only one way to do that. He looked around and couldn’t see anyone. He removed the rest of his clothes and neatly folded them into a pile on the jetty. He stood in the center of the wooden construction and allowed his head to fall back. A slight breeze whispered around his face, and through the bristles of his beard, allowing the memories of his past to dissipate. Without further hesitation, he dived into the cold waters, and shifted as he went. When he emerged from the peaceful lake, he held a fish in between his strong bear jaws; a small snack to sustain him.

“You got any more of them?” The feminine voice in his head startled him at first, but when he turned around and saw Katia lying on the side of the lake, he groaned and spat the still flapping fish her way.

“You know, if you would just get your paws wet, you could catch them yourself.”

She raised a painted tiger eyebrow toward him.

“Are you serious? Remember the old adage, ‘cats don’t like water’.”

“Brayden swims with me all summer, normally.”

“Brayden also likes rolling around naked in the snow; he’s a snow-leopard and not a real cat.”

“Brayden likes pouncing on things. That makes him a cat to me,” he grumbled and came nearer to the shore.

“There’s a difference, Zain. Brayden likes pouncing on Selene. She’s a human, not a mouse.” Katia laughed. “You ever get the feeling the dynamic of the pack is changing?” He sat down in the water with another fish in his hand. It gasped its last breath when the air in its gills ran out.

“What do you mean?” he asked inquisitively.

“Relationships.” Katia lay back and stretched out her legs and arms.

“Oh.”

“They’re everywhere I look, now: Selene and Brayden, Scott and Emma, Tyler and Teagan. I wonder who will be next?” She snorted out a chuckle. “It won’t be me; I’m not a relationship person.”

“Neither am I.” He looked down at the fish forlornly. Too many memories lay in his path to ever enjoy a relationship again.

“Why?” Katia asked.

“You know, just…” he hesitated.

“Zain, I know I’m not always the most conversational in the pack, but you can talk to me. I know most people go to Jane when they have a problem because she’s like the mother of the pack and not just to Brayden, but to everyone. I’m a good listener, though, if something is bothering you.” She rolled onto her side to face him directly. Katia had eyes that could bore deep inside you. They were almost golden in color but with a hint of blue. They were unique and the result of her ancestral mix between a lion and tiger.

“You interested in becoming the agony aunt for the Glacial Blood then?” He teased with good humor in the hope it would lighten the conversation.

“I’m good with my role as a fighter, thank you, but just…if you ever wanted to talk, know I’m here.” He’d never spoken to anyone in the pack about Isobel. Kas knew a bit, but he found himself suddenly wanting to share.

“There is, rather, was someone. It was before I came here. The reason I did, actually. It can never be though. She’s human.”

“Oh yes, humans and shifters, we don’t mix well as couples. Did she find out?”

“No, she doesn’t know what I am. It’s one of the reasons I left. It was at the stage where I couldn’t be with her any longer without telling her. Her father, though, he had a thing against shifters; he’d wild ideas about us being savages.”

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