Page 91 of Playmaker

“Don’t bother,” I reply, my voice void and lifeless. It’s robotic, the same tone I carried after losing my mother. “I don’t want you here.”

“Cameron.”If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think he sounded hurt. “I know you’re upset, but—”

Ending the call, I sit numbly on the couch. Ironically, it’s the same couch Maddie walked away from bawling her eyes out, and the irony doesn’t escape me.

The one person I need guidance from isn’t here. I’m a lost soul with nowhere to go, no one to direct me which path to choose, and I’malone.

An hour ago I was on top of the world, but now, I let the darkness swallow me whole with the knowledge that tomorrow I’m losing the dream I didn’t even realize mattered most until tonight.

Thirty-five

Maddie

I should be packing considering I leave for school tomorrow, but instead all I can think about is the anticipation of how Cameron and I will celebrate our last day together.

My suitcase is open and empty on top of my comforter, stacks of clean clothes scattered around the floor, but I can’t focus on packing when my mind keeps replaying last night.

I still can’t believe Cameron rented a hot air balloon and we sipped champagne while flying over what felt like the entirety of Arizona. Those types of dates are only written about in books or shown in a major film. I never thought one would happen tome.

When we started fooling around two weeks ago I was hesitant to give my all to him when I wasn’t sure if he would be able to fully commit, but last night erased all those doubts. He’s in this.Fully. He wouldn’t have brought up a future together if he wasn’t planning on this working out between us, so there’s no more holding back. I’ll wait for him until he’s ready to say he loves me, because he’s worth it.

“Maddie! Cameron’s here!” my mom shouts from downstairs.

It’s embarrassing how quickly I make it to the front door. I’m a ball of energy, and Cameron is the only person who can wind me down. I want to fling myself into his arms, kiss him senseless, and—

I skid to a halt as soon as my gaze meets his.

Bags line his bloodshot eyes, and his hands are stuffed in the pockets of his shorts. From his demeanor, I can tell he hasn’t slept, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.

Our date last night was incredible.

“I’ll be in the kitchen,” my mom says, worry lining her features before she disappears down the hallway.

Cameron shifts his weight, clearing his throat before he asks, “Can we talk?”

The three words no one ever wants to hear leave me utterly in denial.

I’m not naive enough to assume this will be a good conversation.Can we talkis code forI’m breaking up with you, but I refuse to accept that. We both had an amazing time last night, didn’t we? Or was it all in my head?

Numbly, I follow him out to the driveway where his car is parked. He leans against the hood, so I follow suit and do the same beside him. Silence stretches for what seems like an eternity, but I can’t think of any words to break it. I don’t want to listen to whatever he has to say. I don’t want to stand here and feel my heart shatter into a million piecesagain.

“My dad called last night,” he says, cutting right to the chase. “He threatened to pull my tuition if I don’t end things between us.”

I glance up at him; his profile showcases a clenched jaw. His eyes remain locked on the garage door, almost as if he can’t bear to look at me.

“And I—” He runs a hand through his curls, tugging on the ends in frustration. “I can’t have my tuition pulled, Mads. It’s everything I’ve ever worked for, and football is the closest thing I have to my mom. I—”

He doesn’t have to finish.

I get the gist.

Thousands of emotions run through my mind, but the most prominent isembarrassment. I knew going into this that it could end this way, but I foolishly held on to the hope that this time things would work out for us. The tears pricking the backs of my eyes are no one else’s fault but my own.

Cameron studies my face, cursing when he notices the tears threatening to spill.

There are plenty of questions I could ask right now. Why not go to another college that’s cheaper? His stats already have him on everyone’s radar. Why not take a chance onusand figure out a way to make this work?

But I’ve already fought for him once. I begged him to remain in my life all those years ago, and I refuse to do it again. I have enough pride to walk away, and I have enough self-respect to keep my tears at bay when I meet his stare again.

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