Page 79 of Playmaker

He passes his jug over to me, smiling when I chug most of it down.

I can count on one hand the things that would make me keep trying to climb this fucking trail, but Cameron smiling at me like that ranks in at number one. He seems to realize that too.

Pressing the jug back into his chest, I push past the excruciating pain and walk the remaining few feet to the top.

“Yeah!” Cameron claps behind me as he follows, and I roll my eyes, fighting a smile of my own. Even when I’m about to pass out, he can still find a way to make me happy.

Finally, we reach the clearing. There are a few rocks we have to climb over to get there, and Cam’s fingers on my sides bring goose bumps to my already fiery skin.

I thought for certain I’d say the hike wasn’t worth it, but the breath is knocked from my lungs at the sight before me.

The canyon is laid out before us, and the sky is a beautiful blue, the sun gleaming down on the rocks and river running below. Here, it feels as if I’mpartof the canyon, not just admiring it. If I felt like I had seen the canyon before, I was wrong. So wrong.

This is a painting come to life.

It almost doesn’t seem real.

“Whoa.” I breathe out as I scan the view. I’m too busy taking it all in to notice Cameron step beside me. Ethan is busy helping Maya take a picture for her social media, so the brush of Cameron’s fingers against mine is intentional.

“I wish Ethan knew,” he says, seeming to read my thoughts, “because then I’d be able to kiss you in front of this incredible ass view.”

Is he contemplating telling Ethan?

Telling my brother means the possibility of us having to end this for good, and I don’t know if either of us wants to take that risk. He could be unhappy about it, and if he tells Cam to break things off, I have no doubts that Cam will. Ethan is like a brother to him, and aside from me, he’s been the one constant Cameron’s had his entire life. I want to be mad knowing he could choose Ethan over me, but I understand the importance of their friendship, and I could never come between them.

I love Cam so much that I fear I’m losing myself in the process.

My wants and desires have been placed on the back burner since we made things exclusive between us. He told me about his red flags and that he’s fearful of following through with this commitment, and yet I’mclingingto the fraying rope of potential for dear life regardless of what it’ll do to my heart if it breaks.

I chose this, I remind myself.

“Cameron, come take a picture with Ethan!” Maya shouts.

I follow him over and stand beside my best friend while she snaps a few pictures of them. Cameron’s arm is slung around Ethan’s shoulder, and both of them wear cheesy grins. My eyes travel down Cameron’s six-pack and the way sweat is clinging to them, and I inwardly groan.

It should be acrimeto be that good looking.

“Ooh!” Maya points to a rock with a flat surface. “I want a photo there, Maddie. Be my photographer.”

I take her phone and follow her over to the rock while Ethan and Cameron walk to the opposite side of the clearing. It’s silent for a moment before I ask, “When are you going to tell me what happened last night with Ethan?”

We huff as we climb over various rocks to get to the one she wants, and when we reach it, I collapse on my back, allowing the sun and wind to steady my breathing. “It’s not like I haven’t wanted to tell you, Maddie, I just—” She bites on her bottom lip, staring off into the distance. “I told you I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I don’t want things to get weird between us. You’re the most important person to me, and I would never let a boy ruin the bond we have. Even if itisEthan.”

“Maya.” I reach over to grab her hand. “I’m not going to be mad, okay? You told me you were into him, so I’ve had time to come to terms with it. If something happened between you two then I’m happy for you.”

She arches a brow. “Really?”

“Yes. Plus, you’ve kept my secret with Cam this whole time, so this is my way of repaying you, okay?”

“Deal,” she replies with a smile.

“So what happened? Did he kiss you?”

Her grin grows wider. “Remember what you said about not wanting to hear all the details?”

Oh god.

The pieces click together.

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