What the hell?
Maya casts a lingering stare at Ethan before she props a hand on her hip and asks, “Where’s Maddie?”
I’m still trying to decipher why Ethan gave me that look, but when I realize he’s incapable of replying, I answer for him. “She’s upstairs in her room. Would you care to help us with this disaster of a house first?”
“Hm . . .” She ponders, tapping a finger to her chin. “Help clean up after a party I wasn’t invited to? I think I’ll pass. You guys have fun, though!” Tossing her long black ponytail over her shoulder, she disappears from the kitchen, my best friend’s eyes glued to her ass the entire way.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I deadpan. “Maya?Dude, that’s a recipe for disaster. You realize Maddie would kill you, right? Like, shred you to pieces and feed them to the wolves.”
“It’s not like I’d even have a chance.” He’s seething. “Why’d you have to say something to her about swappingsex stories? She’s going to think I’m a perv.”
I cock my head to the side. “Aren’t you? We’re one and the same, Ethan. Always have been.”
His jaw sets into a firm line but eventually he releases an exaggerated sigh and reaches beneath the sink to grab a garbage bag. “It doesn’t matter. Like I said, I don’t have a shot in hell.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Oh comeon. Maya probably goes for guys who look like you. I’m not over six foot, I don’t have an eight pack, and I damn sure don’t have your ability to flirt. I wouldn’t have a shot, and that’s not me trying to be self-deprecating. It’s just the truth.”
I hate that he has such a low opinion of himself. Ethan is the funniest guy I know, and while he might not be a gym rat, he has one of the biggest hearts. Any girl would beluckyto have him.
Together, we pick up the house, but about ten minutes in, I ask, “Why don’t you take a chance with her? You might get lucky.”
He scoffs as he shoves a cup into the bag. “Maya isn’t the hit it and quit it type. If I were to hit it, I don’t think I’d be able to quit it. Not thatyou’dunderstand that.”
Oh, but I do.
All too well, actually.
“Maybe Maddie would understand if you told her how you feel. If she knew you feltthatstrongly about Maya, then—”
“Ha!” He tosses his head back and laughs. “This is Maddie we’re talking about. Besides, there are just some things you don’t do to a sibling, like fuck their best friend. It’d be likehermaking a move onyou.” He shudders at the thought.
Just for a moment, I’m glad Maddie thinks our conversation last night was a mistake. Letting her know my true feelings and the desire I feel for her would only result in catastrophe. It’s clear Ethan wouldn’t be okay with it if I were to make a move, so leaving that fleeting moment between us forgotten is for the best. I’ll let Maddie chalk it up to me being drunk and rambling if she wants. It’s better this way.
Safer.
“I guess you’re right,” I reply, and even though I want to say so much more, I decide to keep my mouth shut instead.
It’s better this way.
Safer.
I just need to keep repeating that mantra until I believe it.
Four
Maddie
“And heapologized?” Maya, holding a bottle of red nail polish, glances up from the foot of my bed. “CameronHolden? Are we talking about the same person?”
I still can’t believe it either. Six years ago he told me he didn’t want anything to do with me, and now we’ve interacted more than we have in ages. It’s like whiplash the way he goes from hot to cold. When I caught him in the guest bedroom with that girl—she did anexceptionaljob of expressing herself—he went from being a dick saying he was in the middle of something to chasing me down the hall and asking for my forgiveness. He’s an anomaly I have yet to figure out.
And I could have sworn he had wanted to. Well, I’m not going to make any assumptions, but the way he looked at me wasbreathtaking. I’ve never seen his eyes get so dark and serious.
But he was drunk, and I interrupted his night of fun. Of course he was horny. He probably would have made a move onanyonestanding there. Not that he did make a move, but when he stepped closer to me in the hallway and was towering over me, I thought . . .
“Stop fidgeting!” Maya scolds. Her grip becomes firmer on my foot and she dips the brush back into the polish. “You’re being a horrible test subject.”