Page 65 of Playmaker

He’s right. I don’t. Bringing a girl back here feels uncomfortable when it’s the very place that haunts my dreams at night. My mother passed away two rooms over. Under this roof is where she took her last breath, and in a way, I don’t know if she ever left. Bringing a girl home with me has never been ideal, especially when I couldn’t see a future with any of them.

But with Maddie, it’s different. I admitted it was more than something physical between us, and while we haven’t talked thoroughly about what we’re labeling this, we’re not messing around with anyone else. We’re exclusive, and I feel good about that—reallygood, seeing how my morning started with fucking her in the shower.

I want her all to myself.

Mine.

“I changed my mind,” I reply. “But, yeah. It’s probably best if you call before coming over from now on in case she’s here.”

“Is it someone I know?” he asks.

My jaw is set in a firm line when I give him a subtle shake of my head. “Don’t do this, Ethan. I’m not going to tell you. It’s new, and it’s going well. That’s all you need to know for now.”

He nods. “I can tell, you know, that she’s good for you.”

I arch a brow, waiting for him to continue.

“The past few days you’ve been—” He sighs and runs a hand over his hair. “I guess you’re reminding me of the guy I used to know—the one who laughs and enjoys life. Our day at the lake was the first normal day we’ve had between us in a long time. Took me back to the days when we were kids and rode bikes and our only fears were scraping our knees rather than all these fucking life problems.”

“I didn’t realize we hadn’t been normal.” I narrow my gaze on him, and he shifts uncomfortably before rising from the office chair. Bags line his eyes, and he’s fidgeting way too much. Again, I feel the regret seeping in that it’s taken me this long to notice that something is definitely off with him. “Are you okay? And I don’t mean surface level, Ethan. Are youreallyokay?”

For a moment I think he might break down and confide in me. Tears are in the backs of his eyes, but he glances at the bathroom door behind me before he gives a quick jerk of his head. “I’m good,” he lies, clearing his throat. “I’m happy for you is all. If she’s bringing out the old you then I’m thrilled. Just don’t fuck it up.”

Would he still be happy if he knew it was his sister who’s responsible for him seeing glimpses of the kid I used to be? The kid who had never experienced death? The kid who loved the sun on his face, loved to laugh, and thought a hard day was when he couldn’t have ice cream after dinner? Or would he turn on me knowing it’s his sister’s heart I’m gambling with?

Even if I wanted to ask, now wouldn’t be the time to do it, when Maddie is still hiding in my shower.

“We’ll catch up this weekend when we go to the Grand Canyon,” I assure him. “Then you can tell me what’s going on.”

Ethan groans and leans against my doorway. “Don’t remind me. Did Maddie tell you my parents said Maya could come too? I’ll have to be around her in another bikini again, and I don’t think there’s any way in hell I’ll be able to stay away from her. It was hard enough when we all went to the lake.”

“What was?” I tease. “Your dick or the temptation?”

“I fucking hate you,” he grumbles, but a grin tugs at his lips. “Both, to answer your question. How are things, by the way? With you and Maddie?”

“What about me and Maddie?” The sentence comes out rushed, and I mentally curse myself for being so nervous.

It’s aquestion, not an accusation.

Calm the fuck down.

“You said you were trying to be friends again, right? Is it working? Things seemed to be slightly better at the lake.”

Oh.

The lake.

Right.

“Yeah, they’re fine. We’re figuring things out.”

“Good. I didn’t want to go away this weekend with you guys at each other’s throats. I can’t handle another car ride with you both yelling about the radio station choice.”

“She wanted to listen topop,” I reiterate, knowing Maddie is hearing all of this. “Country is way better, and you know it.” We bickered like hell on our last spring break trip to Disneyland. I smacked her hand away from the radio, then she smacked mine, and we did this on and off for a straight thirty minutes trying to switch the stations.

“Whatever. I’m just glad you sorted things out. Maybe this time we can all enjoy each other’s company.”

Maybe.

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