Page 58 of Playmaker

Tears fill my eyes.“Cam—”

“I’ll completely understand if it’s too late,” he continues. “I’ve gotten more chances with you than I’ve deserved, but I need you to hear the truth, and honestly? I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship or if I’ll be any good at one. I have attachment issues, and I use sex as a form of therapy. I’m terrified of hurting you if we try this and fail. I’m terrified of losing someone else close to me, and because of that, those three words you want me to say will take some time. But if there’s anyone worth trying for, it’syou, and if you’re okay with all of these red flags of mine and are still willing to see where this could go, I’d be an idiot if I let you go out with him tonight without putting my name in the ring.”

When he’s finished, panting and breathless, I can see how difficult being vulnerable truly is for him. His hands are shaking, still holding on to mine, but knowing he’s willing to try to overcome this fear shows me how serious he is about this.

About us.

I knew Cameron had attachment issues prior to him bringing it up in conversation just now, but I didn’t realize how deeply rooted the fear was. If he needs time to adjust to his feelings, if he needs to take this slow, I’m willing to hold his hand through it because he’s worth it.

He may not realize that yet, but I do.

Pulling my phone out of my sparkly crossbody, I open the Messages app.

Cameron watches me curiously before he asks, “What are you doing?”

“Canceling my date,” I reply casually, flicking my eyes to his. “Unless you’d rather me still go out with him tonight?”

A storm of emotion crosses his face. Shock, confusion, before settling on my favorite of all. He drags his eyes down my body in a slow, calculated perusal combined with that lazy grin and says, “Looking likethis? Fuck no.”

“Then it’s settled, Holden.” I send the text to Mark that consists of a lame excuse as to why I changed my mind. I feel horrible, but he deserves better than someone who could never fully be invested in him when their heart lies with someone else. I hope he finds the girl who’s meant for him because everyone should feel the way I do right now—like each and every spot of skin Cam touches ignites in flames. “What should we do now?”

Tugging me closer, his hands land on my hips. “I could think of a lot of things, Mads.”

“Okay,” I reply, suddenly out of breath. “Let me rephrase, then. What should we do first?”

“Hm.” I’m in heaven when he drags his hands up and down my sides, caressing the bare skin exposed through the cutouts of my dress. “Right now, I really want to kiss you.”

“Oh?”

“Ialwayswant to kiss you,” he admits. “Yesterday, today, and also six years ago.”

Is he trying to make me cry?

“Don’t,” he soothes when he notices my tears. He rubs beneath my eyes with his thumbs to swipe them away. “It’s the truth, and I’m so fucking sorry I lied to you. That night I had been about to make a move, and you were right. I did lean in. Every single time I was around you I wanted my lips on yours, Maddie Davis, and nothing has changed. Not even now.”

The sound I release is a mixture of a sob and a laugh. “Then what are you waiting for?”

Finally, his lips meet mine in a blistering, all-consuming kiss. I stumble backward from the force of it, but Cameron doesn’t let me fall. He hoists me into his arms so that my legs are around his waist, which doesn’t bode well for my dress. I break away from the kiss to try to pull it down, but it’s no use. Cameron’s hands have already found the band of my thong.

“You’remine.” His voice is gravelly as he gives the band a snap. Those words alone would bring me to my knees if he wasn’t already holding me. “And all I want to do is take you home and show you how long I’ve been wanting to say that.”

He trails his lips down the column of my neck, my hands in his hair, and if it wasn’t for Maya having neighbors I’d suggest he take me in the back of his car right this instant. There’s another issue we have to discuss first, though, and it’s one I know he isn’t going to want to partake in.

“Is your dad going to tell anyone?” I ask. “Was he mad?”

As expected, Cameron’s body goes rigid at the mention of his father. Ever since his mom’s passing they haven’t had a good relationship, and it killed me to watch him go from a kid with loving parents to having none at all. It’s made my own resentment toward his dad grow.

“Don’t worry about him,” he says. “Everything is fine. He took a red-eye last night back to wherever the hell he’s doing his business nowadays, and I highly doubt he’ll call your parents.”

“Are you sure?” I remember the way he looked ready to tackle his son the second he caught us, and he certainly didn’t look happy about it, or like he’d be willing to talk things out.

Cameron dips his head to catch my gaze, and fuck, he’s perfect. That damn chain hangs between us, and it’s completely unfair how good he smells. Between his cologne and the grin he’s sporting, he’s making it extremely difficult to focus on anythingbutkissing him senseless.

He chuckles deeply, following where my thoughts have gone, and while holding me on his hip with one hand, he tugs his keys out with his free one. “Text Maya that you’re not coming back inside,” he says while striding for his car. “I’ve got better plans in store for you.”

Twenty-four

Cameron

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