Page 47 of Playmaker

Her lips tilt into a sly grin. “I think that means anyone you experience after him won’t even come close.”

Boy, is she right, and it’s the quick pinch of fear that sparks my gut that makes me shift uncomfortably on my mattress. I don’t want to experience anyone else aside from him. He’s the guy I’ve waited my entire life for, but he’s also the guy who’s trying to shuffle a lot of cards in his life, and a girlfriend isn’t a card he intends on keeping in the deck.

The weight of this conversation settles heavier in my chest.

I need to tread carefully.

Twenty

Cameron

On the night of the Super Bowl my mom is on the edge of her seat with a bowl of popcorn in her lap, eyes glued to the television in front of her. It’s the first time in almost a decade that Arizona has made it this far, and the game is close. Too close. They’re in the last quarter with only thirty seconds left. It’s first and goal, and Arizona is going for a two-point conversion to try to win rather than tie it up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom more nervous than right now.

“Can I sit here?” Maddie points to the empty spot beside me on the couch. I nod, keeping my eyes on the TV when she takes a seat. The crowd is going wild, and my dad, who is unable to sit down, paces behind the couch with his hands on his head, muttering incoherent things under his breath.

“Come on, come on, come on,” I mutter, a lump lodged in my throat. They’re unlikely to get this opportunity again for a long time, and after learning a few weeks ago my mom has cancer, I want this for her. I have more than enough hope she’ll beat it, but just in case she doesn’t, well, I want Arizona to win, dammit. She deserves to see them win.

Mary and Richard are on the opposite couch with Ethan, huddled together as if they’re thinking the same. Mary doesn’t care for sports, but tonight she’s on edge like the rest of us.

Maddie’s thigh presses against mine, and I glance down at the contact. We’re best friends so I should be used to sitting closer than normal with her, but this time, it feels different. I’m maturing, and girls haven’t given me the cooties for a while now. I’m starting high school next year, so an influx of hormones must be why I suddenly need to grab a pillow and place it over my lap. It’s not the first time this has happened, but it’s the first time with Maddie.

She pulls her eyes away from the screen, eyeing the pillow. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I stutter, nervous as hell. “I’m just—”

“THEY DID IT!”

Everyone lurches off the couches at the same time and the bucket of popcorn goes flying. Kernels litter the carpet as everyone, including Maddie and me, screams at the top of their lungs. Thankfully, the jump scare has fixed my hormonal situation, so I’m able to leap off the couch with everyone else before we all rush to hug my mom, who is crying tears of joy. Arizona just won the Super Bowl, but it’s not the reason both of our families are crying in a huddle around my mom.

We’re here mainly in support of her, and although it remains unspoken, I know we all feared that if Arizona didn’t win tonight my mom might not live long enough to watch them have a second chance at it.

But theywon, and with both of our families together in this little huddle, it’s a memory I’m going to cherish for life.

—

Music has always been a way to escape for me. As soon as I put my headphones on, the world doesn’t seem so hard, and just like being submerged underwater, music tunes everything out. It’s a way to relax and wind my body down, but ever since starting things up with Maddie, it seems to be having the opposite effect.

Now, listening to music while I work out makes me feel energized. I’m going twice as hard on all my sets because I want my stamina to be up for her. Two miles on the treadmill instead of one. An additional ten pounds more than normal. I feel like I’ve gained superhuman strength since kissing her, and even with sweat pouring down my back, I’m on the verge ofsmilingwith thoughts of her naked and sated in her bed last night. Her curls running wild, a lazy grin on her lips . . .

Ethan and her parents could find out at any point that we’ve messed around, but where I was terrified of that happening a week ago, I’m indifferent now. It’s something I want to avoid at all costs, but to experience this with Maddie has been one of the few decisions I don’t regret. Every day gets a little bit harder for it not to slip out that I’m happy for the first time in what feels like forever. Having to hide these feelings for Maddie is almost as difficult as sneaking around.

And you told her to go on the date with Mark.

I shake the thought from my head, refusing to let my mood get ruined when my music cuts out and is replaced by my ringtone. Dragging my phone out of my pocket, I frown at the contact on the screen.

Well,nowmy mood is ruined.

“Hey, Dad.” I pin my phone between my ear and shoulder as I exit the gym. “What’s up?”

There’s a long pause before he asks, “You’re at the gym? This late?”

“How do you—”Fuck. I share my location with him. “Uh, yeah. I’ve been going to the gym at night rather than in the morning the past few days. It’s working out well so far.”

“You have to be careful not to mess up your schedule, Cameron. We have a routine in place for a reason. Going to the gym at night is getting your body off its circadian rhythm. You know how important that is.”

A muscle feathers in my jaw. “I know, Dad. When I get back to school, I’ll get back to it. It’ll be fine. I haven’t been slacking at all. Everything is still the same except the gym times.”

“Really?” he asks. “Is that why there was a charge for pizza the other night in your bank account?”

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