Page 36 of Playmaker

“I’m not saying I want her to make the first move, but I’m not going to confess my feelings if I think there’s even a chance she doesn’t reciprocate them. If Maddie finds out I tried to hit on her best friend, it won’t be good for me.”

My chest is dripping with sweat when I lift the bar back into position. I snatch my water bottle from the floor and take a few large gulps, either from tiredness or nerves about the direction of this discussion. Little does he know my head was between his little sister’s thighs this morning.

“What if Mayadoesreciprocate your feelings? What then?”

“Then I talk to Maddie about it. I’ve been crushing on Maya for a while, so if the opportunity to be with her presented itself, I’d take it.”

“Even if Maddie disapproved?” I push.

He locks eyes with me, and for a heartbeat I’m afraid he’s figured me out. But then the moment vanishes, and he sighs before adjusting the weights for another set. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Not when my body feels like it’s going to fall apart.”

Letting out a laugh, I cross my arms over my chest. “That weak, huh? Weren’tyouthe one who used to be able to bench more than me?”

“Shut. Up,” he hisses through gritted teeth. His arms begin to quiver on his second set, and just when I relieve him of the weight, we hear the sound of the gym doors opening. Our high-school football coach allows me to use the gym here on breaks or during the summer if I visit from school, but it’s rare for anyone else to be here.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise.” Mark strides over to us with a wide grin. “When did you decide to get back in the gym, Ethan?”

“Don’t get used to it,” Ethan gasps. “Pretty sure this is my last workout in this godforsaken place.”

“It’s good you’re here,” he replies, placing his water bottle and phone on a treadmill. “I was going to ask you about Maddie.”

“My sister?” Ethan asks. “Why?”

“I tried to ask her out at my party a few days ago, but she seemed nervous to answer, and since I haven’t gotten a text from her, I thought I’d reach out. That is, if it’s cool with you. I need her number.”

My body is tense as I adjust for my final set. Mark asking Maddie out shouldn’t bother me at all. I told her I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and she doesn’t want any expectations between us. I assume that means we’re able to see other people, so sheshouldgo on a date with Mark. He’d be able to give her everything I’m incapable of. Love. Happily ever after. Marriage. Kids.

Even knowing that, it doesn’t stop my heart rate from spiking, and it has nothing to do with the weights I’m lifting. It’sjealousythat has me pushing through this set faster than any of the others. It’s bitterness coursing through me that gives me the newfound strength to finish with barely any strain at all.

I hardly know Mark, yet I find myself fantasizing about tackling him to the ground and giving him a black eye for a week for even implying he has an interest in Maddie.

Ethan shrugs. “Sure. I’ll text you her number when we’re done with our workout.”

Mark smiles wider, and the urge to punch him grows stronger. “Thanks, man.”

After Mark puts his headphones in and starts his run, I suddenly have no need to finish the rest of my workout. I’m already halfway through it, and Mark’s mere presence is distracting me. I’d much rather do my cardio at home and go for a run than be here thinking of his smug grin and all the plans he has for Maddie.

I have no right to be jealous. She and I will never work out, and I know that. She deserves someone who can show her off at any opportunity they get, not hide her. We’re just fooling around for the remainder of our break toexplorethings. That’s it.

So why does this gut-wrenching, burning sensation lead me to feel otherwise?

“What?” Ethan eyes me shoving things into my duffel bag. “You think I should have told him no?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? Because three minutes ago you were joking around with me, and now that Mark’s taking Maddie out you’re suddenly in a pissy mood and want to leave. Do you know something I don’t?”

Too much.

Her hands in my curls.

My lips on her skin.

Her mouth around my—

“No, I just think it should be Maddie’s decision whether or not you give him her number. Who knows? Maybe she was wary about saying yes to him because she wanted to say no.” Judging by her relaxed body language at his party, that’s not likely, but it’s worth a shot.

Ethan ponders my response for a moment and then says, “You’re right. I’ll ask her about it at dinner tonight, which you’re coming to as well, I’m assuming?” Mary texted me an hour ago about joining them, and as awkward as things are between Maddie and me, I’ve missed Mary and Richard. The nights after a long game when we’d all go out for pizza, or when I’d get sick and Mary would whip up a batch of homemade chicken noodle soup for me. I don’t get that sense offamilyin college. Even though Mary checks in on me, it’s not the same. I’ve missed being around all of them.

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