Page 19 of Playmaker

I purse my lips, trying to hide my frown. “It’s amazing how involved he is with your future career even from thousands of miles away. I mean, if you want to eat boiled eggs for eternity then by all means, be my guest. However, I know you love pizza almost as much as I do.”

He gives me a knowing look. “Come on, Mads. You know why I’m taking my dad’s advice.”

Unfortunately, I do, and I think Cameron’s father puts way too much pressure on him to make it to the big leagues. Stacy, Cameron’s mother, was the biggest football fan of all time. She was born and raised in Pennsylvania, and when she was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer Cameron made it his mission to become the greatest player at West Bridge, smack dab in the middle of Pennsylvania, to become closer to her.

His dad was already heavily involved in Cameron’s football endeavors, but after Stacy’s passing, it became obsessive. They’re two men going through an insurmountable loss, and it seems the only way they can handle the grief is to live vicariously through Stacy’s love of football.

I’d never bring Stacy up since I know how sensitive a subject it is to Cameron. I haven’t discussed his mother since the day after she passed, and with the way that conversation went, I don’t ever want to bring her up again.

However, if I did have the courage, I’d ask what happens if hedoesmake it to the NFL? What happens to all that pent-up grief when he realizes making it to the big leagues doesn’t heal him in the way he assumes it would? Stacy was the sweetest soul. She was the type of woman who would take the shirt off her back for anyone. I know it would kill her to see Cameron scarfing down boiled eggs to achieve an expectation she never had for him.

But Cameron isn’t the only one who lost a role model. Since Stacy and my mom were best friends, she used to babysit me frequently, and some of my favorite memories are of her allowing me to be her hairdresser and do her makeup. She’d look ridiculous in hair curlers, and her face looked like a clown, but she claimed to love it. She’d always tell me she wanted a daughter, too, so she was more than willing to be my test subject on all things girl related. She was someone I looked up to, and although I wasn’t her biological daughter, the empty space in my heart sure as hell felt like it.

Stacy only wanted us to be happy, yet we’re both killing ourselves to try to fill the space she left.

Dammit.

The anger I felt earlier toward him vanishes.

Cameron is still grieving, and although I’m concerned about him fucking his way through life and using girls to numb his emotions, at the end of the day, he’s not mine to care about.

He never was.

He neverwill be.

And it’s about time I start living like it.

Nine

Cameron

I promised myself when I came home for break that I would stick to my strict routine. Weekends I allow myself to relax and hang out with friends, or sometimes I’ll spend it bingeing a new show that’s popular. But the weekdays are for heavy training and schoolwork. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. I knew coming home, there would be distractions around me, but so far, none of them have worked.

Until tonight.

Until I received a text thatMaddie Daviswas at Jamie Foster’s party.

What the hell has gotten into her?

This isn’t her. She’s a homebody who would much rather be curled up with a book than surrounded by people she doesn’t know, and I’m not responsible for her, but I can’t help but wonder why she’s having this change of personality all of a sudden.

Did she hit things off with Mark? It was too damn tempting to ask her about it earlier on our bike ride—a bike ride I should have been more careful about planning. Papago Park is about an hour away from Wickenburg, so I thought it’d be a safe spot where we wouldn’t be discovered. Jessica popping up was a surprise, and not a good one. She could easily go back and tell Ethan I was there with his sister, but hopefully she didn’t recognize Maddie.

The fear of the what-if propelled me to this stupid party. I’ve already had my fill of drinking this past weekend, but with it being spring break, even the weekdays are considered a free-for-all to everyone else.

This party isn’t much different from Mark’s. It’s the same vibe—beer pong, smoking, dance floor. I haven’t spotted Maddie yet, and the gut-twisting sensation that brings me is enough to make me want to take a shot.

No.

This is training week.

I’m here to find her, make sure she’s okay, and then I’ll be on my way. If I’m lucky, I can still be in bed by ten.

Finally, I spot Mark in the kitchen making himself a drink. Or is he makingMaddiea drink? I don’t want to think about what they did in his car, or if she’s waiting upstairs in a room for him to return, but isn’t that why I came here tonight? Maddie isn’t a partier, and if she’s changing herself due to some guy convincing her it’s cooler . . .

I step up to Mark’s side and glance around the kitchen. “Hey. Have you seen Maddie?”

He nods and takes a swig of his beer. “Yeah, she had to use the bathroom. Should be back any minute now.” Tilting his head to the side, he studies me longer than I’d like for him to. “Why do you ask?”

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