Page 11 of Playmaker

He had to know that coming over here would distract me from Mark. He knew he’d be the only thing on my mind as soon as he disappeared back into the crowd and went upstairs. Is he meeting that girl who was in the guest bedroom again? Ishefucking someone?

Oh my god.

This isexactlywhat he wants!

I’m so caught up in what he’s doing that I’m no longer focusing on the attractive man right in front of me. Mark wants to get to know me. He’s been nothing but a gentleman since he approached, and I’m not going to let Cameron Holden win whatever game he’s playing.

He thinks he distracted me, but I’m about to flip the tables on him. He has no right to be jealous.He’sthe one who almost kissed me on that beach and then tossed me to the side a week later like I meant nothing. Ever since that day in his living room I’ve been unsure if Cameron was attracted to me or if it was all in my head, but he proved it to me tonight without having to say anything at all.

And if he can’t grow a pair of balls and come to terms with that thenhecan live with the consequences.

I’m done putting myself on hold for him.

I’ve done it for longer than I care to admit.

“Can we get some fresh air?” I ask. The room is stifling hot and the music is so loud I can hardly hear my thoughts.

Mark pulls a set of keys out of his pocket and jingles them in the air. “I’ve got something better to show you. Come on.”

He takes my hand in his, and his large, bulky figure easily cuts a path through the crowd to the front door. I’m hit with a rare breeze when we step onto his driveway, grateful for the reprieve it brings. A shiny red Mustang sits pristinely in the driveway as if it’s never been touched, and Mark opens the passenger door, ushering me to get in.

“Have you been drinking?” I ask.

“No. I always stay sober during parties at my place. I learned the hard way after too many incidents. If someone pukes on the carpet or a vase shatters, I want to be fully alert to take care of it.” He runs a hand through his shoulder-length blond hair while he waits for my answer, and although I feel Mark is someone I can trust, I can’t be certain that he’s had nothing to drink, and I don’t feel confident driving somewhere with someone I barely know when I’m tipsy myself.

“Can we just talk out here? Is that okay?”

He nods and tucks the keys back into his pocket. “We can do whatever you want, Maddie. Truthfully, I’m surprised you came tonight. You’ve never been the type to party.”

“That’s because I’m not. I was trying to branch out, but parties are just . . . not my thing.”

He chuckles. “Trust me, I know. I used to see you in the stands reading a book at our games in high school. Ethan said your parents forced you to go.”

Now I’m the one laughing. “Yeah, football isn’t my thing either. I’m most comfortable staying inside watching a movie instead ofthis.”

“Well, maybe I can take you on a date sometime. An introverted one, of course.”

Oh god.

His suggestion should give me butterflies or that giddy feeling I used to feel with Cameron. A person should be happy they’re being asked out, not utterly petrified. I shouldn’t have tears welling up, and my stomach shouldn’t be wrapped in a knot.

But I’ve spent the majority of my life lusting over a man who is probably hooking up with another girl right now. Even when he told me he wanted me out of his life, I never truly left. I was always in the background listening to anything my brother shared about Cameron’s time away at college. I kept up with him even when my brain screamed at me to let him go.

I had boys at college and even in high school who showed interest, but it never worked out. After Cameron broke my heart in the seventh grade, I let myself grieve for a few years before I started dating this boy, Michael Collins, for a couple of months in high school. He was nice enough and treated me well until he discovered I wasn’t ready to do anything more than kiss. I was fifteen at the time, and thrilled to be going out with a junior, but no matter how hard he tried, I couldn’t bring myself to take the next step. And that resulted in me finding out a week later that he was cheating on me with a girl named Penelope, captain of the cheerleading squad. I can still picture the black eye Ethan gave him.

Regardless, the boys I tried to move on with would kiss me and I’d feel nothing. Their lips didn’t bring me the spark that a brush of Cameron’s fingers against mine elicited. All the little moments with Cameron over the years made my body feel as if it was onfire. The brushing of his knee against mine on car trips with my family. How we would always seek each other out no matter what room we were in. How he knew me. Therealme.

What has holding out for him gotten me, though? I’m a nineteen-year-old virgin because whenever another boy touches me it doesn’t feel right. I’m tainted by someone who will never be mine. Someone who has been dealt too much pain to understand how to push through it.

I can’t keep waiting for him when there are handsome, genuine guys out there like Mark, who are mature and emotionally ready for a relationship. Going on a date with Mark would be uncomplicated and easy. It’s about time I start choosing what will makemehappy.

“I’ll think about it,” I reply.

His grin grows wider. “Cool. I won’t pressure you to do the number exchange. If you want to reach out, Ethan has my number. Just ask him for it.”

Mark has a way of settling my nerves. He makes me feel at ease, and honestly, he doesn’t understand how much I needed that tonight.

I jerk my head toward his Mustang. “So, what’s the sound system on this thing like?”

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