Page 95 of Playmaker

Now that I’ve taken the control back, there’s nothing stopping me from achieving my ultimate dream of happiness.

Her.

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When morning comes, I realize drinking an entire bottle of whiskey wasn’t smart. My head is pounding and my stomach rolls with nausea, but this hangover is going to have to wait.

I’m a man on a mission.

Operation Get Maddie Back is in full effect.

But when I turn onto my side, I see a letter on my nightstand. It’s not justanyletter. The familiar cursive handwriting of my name makes my heart cease beating in my chest. For a millisecond, I assume I’m dreaming, but the letter feels real when I twirl it between my fingertips.

This is my mom’s handwriting.

I’d recognize it anywhere.

My thumb traces over my name, and because I can’t help myself, I bring the envelope to my nose to see if it still smells like her. I’m disappointed there isn’t any trace of lilac, a perfume she always loved, and before I can drive myself mad any longer, I open the letter with shaky fingers.

My dearest Cammie,

You’re likely wondering why you’re reading this letter, but along with this one comes plenty of others that will correlate with big moments in your life. I didn’t want to miss a thing, so I’m entrusting your father to deliver these to you during these milestones, as I fear I don’t have much time left.

There are moments you’ll experience when your father might not be much help, and realizing you’re in love is one of them. Sure, he might have some advice, but I taught him everything he knows. How else would he have married me?

Writing this while you’re so young breaks my heart because more than anything I want to be there for the day you marry the love of your life, but I’ve come to terms with the fact I can’t be. Please remember that even if I’m not there physically, I’m with you spiritually in every step you take. Not even time and space could prevent me from watching over you.

You’re the sweetest, most kindhearted boy this world has ever seen, and with this letter, I’ve written some things down about my marriage that I hope you experience in your own someday. Whoever has stolen your heart, I know they’re lucky, and I wish I could have met them.

For starters, I hope you’ve found someone who is willing to stick by your side no matter what obstacles come your way. In life, things don’t always go the way you expect them to, and it’s important to have a partner who will not only lift you up in those tough moments, but love you through them too.

I hope you’ve found someone who finds you just as attractive at your worst as they do at your best. Beauty fades as we grow older, so I pray the person you’ve chosen admires the beauty that is within you.

Lastly, I hope you’ve found someone worth fighting for. Love is the strongest force on earth. It’s capable of moving mountains if you try hard enough, and your partner should be the driving force of it all. Love can pounce quick, with no mercy, or it can sneak up on us over time, but if it’s true love, any milestone you pass, any decision you debate, and every breath you take will be made with them in mind without you even realizing it. That person becomes the center of your universe, and although terrifying, it can be the greatest experience you’ll have in this lifetime.

Since I won’t have an opportunity to do so later, can I take a wild guess as to who has become the center of your universe?

Is it Maddie?

If not, please continue to the next paragraph (I am so sorry). But if it is her, I couldn’t have chosen better for you myself. She looks at you like you’re the moon to her stars, and call it motherly instincts, but I’ve always known there was something special between you two.

I love you, Cammie. I am overjoyed you’ve found someone worth fighting for, regardless of if it’s who I’m assuming or not. You will always be my proudest accomplishment, and if I can’t be there to take care of you, it warms my heart knowing you’ve found someone to take my place.

Love always,

Mom

Thirty-seven

Maddie

I put off packing until the last minute, and now I’m racing around my room like a madwoman trying to get all these clothes shoved inside my suitcase.

After my mom tried to console me yesterday, I spent the night crying into my pillow and stuffing my face with ice cream. I didn’t want to tell Maya or Ethan about what happened. They went on a date last night, and I didn’t want to ruin it. Telling them Cameron and I are over and speaking the words aloud will make it real, and I’m not ready for that yet.

Plus, admitting I was wrong is like pulling teeth for me. They both warned me, and I ignored all the signs because some idiotic part of me thought it could work between us.

The joke’s on me.

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