Page 56 of Playmaker

“I know, and you have a few other gifts coming from us, but I wanted to give you this one myself.”

My brows are scrunched as I remove the tissue paper and pull out a velvety blue box. I’m still confused until I open the lid and see the gold necklace lying inside. It’s a beautiful locket with diamonds encrusted around the edges, and I open the clasp to reveal an image of Stacy holding me as a baby. A lump forms in my throat as I process this gift and why she’d want to give it to me when it’s just the two of us, but she beats me to it before I can ask.

“You need to know how proud I am of you,” she whispers, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. “You’re the daughter I never had, and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to watch you transform into a beautiful, kindhearted girl.”

“Stacy,” I choke out.

“I wanted you to have something to remember me by so that no matter what happens, I’ll always be with you.”

I hug her so hard I fear I’ll knock the wind out of her, and my tears stain her purple sweater. I inhale deeply, wondering how many more of her hugs I’ll get to experience. This is her goodbye gift to me, which means . . .

“I’m not ready.”

“None of us ever are,” she soothes.

“I can’t accept this, Stacy. It looks way too expensive.” But I also don’t want to accept it because if I take this necklace, it means I accept her goodbye, and I don’t. I can’t. Imagining life without her is impossible.

“Of course you can,” she says. Then she swivels her finger for me to turn around. I move my hair for her to clasp the chain, and when the gold heart hits my chest, something final settles in the depths of my soul. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” I twirl the heart between two fingers, admiring it between sniffles. “I love it, Stacy. It’s perfect.”

“Good.” She laughs. “I can’t take all the credit. Cameron helped pick it out.”

My eyes snap to hers. “He did?”

“Yep. Took two hours to find the perfect one, but we found it eventually.”

Thinking of Cameron in a jewelry store for that long makes a laugh bubble up my throat. “He must have hated that.”

Stacy arches a brow, and the next words out of her mouth make my world come to a standstill. “I don’t think he did considering it washimwho took two hours debating which one to get you.”

—

As I stare at myself in the full-length mirror in Maya’s bedroom, I can’t help but let my insecurities take over. Don’t get me wrong, my best friend made sure I looked incredible for this date. My hair is curled to perfection rather than its usual mess of tangled ringlets, and my makeup is smoky and date-like, but no matter how hard I try to convince myself I’m good enough, it doesn’t seem to work.

Cameron’s silence after I came clean and practically begged him to say the three words I needed was very telling. I don’t want to go on this date with Mark because my heart is and has always been with Cam, but if he’s unwilling to admit this is something more than a hookup between us, I need to see what else is out there. A boy like Mark, who is kind, charming, and treats me well, is worth testing the waters with.

“You look hot.” Maya looks up from her phone and nods in approval from where she’s sitting on her bed. “I knew that dress would look good on you.”

The deep-purple fabric clings to every curve I have and hardly goes past my thighs. Mark had said our date would be introverted, and this dressscreamsa night out on the town. I’m no doubt overdressed, but Maya reassured me it’s better to be overdressed than under, so I’m reluctantly taking her advice.

“You think?” I do another twirl to give her a full-body view.

“Totally. Mark is going to be drooling like a dog, and Cameron is going to feel like a fucking ass for messing things up with you.”

I had no reason to turn Mark down, so I wish this churning of guilt inside my stomach would stop. Cameron made it clear that this was purely physical between us. He wants to hook up for the remainder of break, and although that hurts me to the very core, I have to accept that. Spilling my guts didn’t change anything.

So when Mark picks me up, I’m going to push Cameron to the very back of my mind and put all my focus on someone who deserves my time and attention. If Cameron wants to continue our friendship, then fine, but anything extra is off the table. I can’t keep messing around with him if my heart is in it and his isn’t. I thought I could do this and commit to no attachments, but I was a fool. I’ve been in love with him foryears. Feelings that strong don’t just disappear.

“I’m jealous,” Maya admits. “I haven’t been on a date in forever.”

I join her on the zebra-print comforter she hasn’t changed since middle school, wincing at how tightly the dress squeezes my ribs. “Go on a date, then.”

“Oh, because it’s that simple?”

“For you? Completely. You could have any guy you wanted.” I begin ticking off on one hand the names of guys I know she’s had a history with. “James, Carlos, Micah, Emmanuel, mybrother.”

Her body stills, and I suppress a grin.

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