Page 88 of Until I Have You

Dad kisses the side of my head before he follows.“Don’t get into too much trouble, hm?”

“I’ll try.”

“Don’t worry,” Sonia follows up, stepping into the elevator after my dad.She turns around, her eyes locking with mine.And her smile fades.“I’ll keep an eye on her.”

My stomach drops.

She saw.She must have.Or else my guilt is creating illusions in my head.But Sonia’s expression is taut and humorless.

I’m not seeing things.

She saw something.

Something no one was ever supposed to see.

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Sonia does not speak to me the rest of the night.She does not speak to me while we get ready before the wedding either.

I can’t bear to look at her, but I have questions.Namely, did she see, and if she saw, how much did she see?What does she think?And did she tell my dad?

That last question is probably the most important.

I believe Sonia and I are close enough to maintain a secret such as this one.

But when people fall in love, when they choose their person for the rest of their days, there is a closeness that is born I simply can’t fathom.I’ve watched it blossom between Dad and Sonia, Bridget and Seth, Laney, Mason, and Nate, Camilla and Jack.It’s something that comes from giving yourself over wholly to another person.

I have never known that closeness.Which means I have no idea how that kind of closeness exists in relation to the closeness had with others.

It’s not until we are literally about to go outside and line up for the wedding march that Sonia pulls me aside.

“Can we talk?”Her eyes flick to the French doors.

“Sure.”My mouth dries.

“Ladies, we’re lining up,” the wedding planner says, trying to hustle us outside.

“Just one minute,” Sonia says.“We’ll be there.”

The wedding planner is disgruntled but moves along.

Once we are relatively alone, Sonia grabs my hands.“I don’t know the details.But whatever is going on has to stop.”

I hold my breath.

“I don’t know if that was a one-time thing.Or if maybe it’s been going on longer,” she goes on.“But you are off-limits to Theo.And vice versa.”

I stare at Sonia.

It is rare that I think of the strangeness involved with Sonia being closer to my age than my father’s.She’s never tried mothering me, only ever given me advice as a friend.But this doesn’t feel friendly.

“We’re not hurting anyone.”

“Abigail, if your dad finds out, he’s going to lose it.”

“What if there was no way he’d find out?”My insides are clinging onto my reality.

I’m not ready to let go of Theo.I’m supposed to have him for two more months.“What if I don’t make any more stupid mistakes?”

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