Page 80 of Until I Have You

The what-if, though, does not leave my mind.

What if our lust could be love?What if I could have him forever?

And what if we didn’t have to hide?

15

THEO

“Bonnie, you cannot pack a houseplant.”I pick up the potted succulent from the inside of her suitcase, placing it on her bedside table.

She pouts, arms over her chest.“But what if it dies while we’re gone?”

“It won’t.Abigail will come by to water it.”

Bonnie’s face turns from sour to sweet.“Abigail will take care of my plant?”

Against my better judgment, which is a theme these days, I have asked Abigail to come by the house a couple of times while Bonnie and I go visit the pathetic remains of my family back in the UK for Christmas.

I may not speak to most of them, but family is family.I can keep a stiff upper lip for Bonnie’s sake.She doesn’t deserve to feel like an outcast.

The thought of Abigail in my home without me is a strange one.It is not that I am worried that she’ll do something wrong.It’s that it conjures an image of this being her home too.That she could be alone here at home, going about her daily business, owning the space just as any person who lived here would.

In the two months we’ve been conducting our affair, the closeness has become harder and harder to shake.Because what started as hour-long quickies in the middle of my workday has become long, fulfilling hours of enjoying one another.Not only shagging, but conversation.Intimacy.

What I’ve wanted from the beginning with her and pretended I could ignore.

The doorbell rings.

“Speak of the devil,” I murmur, allowing Bonnie to dart down the hallway to greet our guest.

I’ve invited Abigail over under the guise of giving her a rundown of all the details she has to look after while we’re gone.And that turned into a way for Bonnie to celebrate Christmas with Abigail before we leave for the holiday.A “slumber party” of sorts.Snacks, blankets, movies.

The three of us.

It’s a selfish plan, really.

Two weeks away from Abigail is going to make me a wreck.The least I can do is have a long, drawn-out goodbye with her.

Didn’t feel right for it to be a closeted encounter in the dungeon or a hidden kiss in Central Park.

This way, everyone could know she’s here.

Edwin knows she and Bonnie are close, knows that she’s helping me out by looking after the apartment.

The less things between Abigail and me feel wrong, the more pleasure I get out of it.

I can only hope she feels the same.

When I get to the front door, Bonnie has already ushered Abigail inside and is almost vibrating at the sight of a gift bag.“Did you get me a Christmas present?”

“Bonnie, it’s not polite to ask.”I slide my hands into my pockets.

Abigail flashes me a smile which cracks my heart open.“Itisfor you, Bonnie.Would you like to open it?”

Bonnie takes the bag from Abigail.“Let’s go into the living room and open it there!”

My daughter heads off before making sure either of us are in tow.

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