Page 133 of Until I Have You

It’s a beautiful day, although most days are, here in Ireland.But the sun is out, a rare feat for March.The sun casts a golden glow over the sea, the choppy waves reaching for the warmth.And everywhere, puffins mill about, settling in for their few months on shore to rear their young.

This large colony has had a decline in population in recent years, which is why the Clare Marine Institute has been studying them.However, it seems like it’s going to be a good year for these puffins.So many of them are finding new mates, older pairs are still healthy and breeding.

It’s beautiful to see how animals, no matter what kind, aren’t that different from humans at all.

“How’s Miss Lonely Hearts doing?”Olivia asks me.

“I haven’t seen her yet today.”

Miss Lonely Hearts is a puffin from the colony who lost her mate over the past year.She’s been courted by several of the single males but seems to keep to herself for the most part.

Olivia shakes her head.“I don’t understand when animals don’t follow their instincts.”

Olivia is a no-nonsense Irishwoman with a dark blunt bob.She’s much less impressed by the cuteness of the puffins than I am, always measuring up their behavior like it’s something objective, like they don’t have feelings.

However, I get Miss Lonely Hearts.“No need to rush her.If she doesn’t want to mate, she shouldn’t.”

“Well, that’s no good for maintaining the colony,” Olivia says, finishing up a note on her clipboard.

I watch the puffin pair.Nuzzling and cuddling.It tugs at my chest.“If she can’t have the person she wants, then she shouldn’t force it.”

“You meanpuffinshe wants.”Olivia snorts, dropping her clipboard in her lap.

“Sure, that’s what I meant.”

Olivia chuckles.“You humanize them too much, Abigail.”

“I can’t help it.”I’ve thought about getting over Theo by getting under someone else.There’s plenty of handsome Irishmen around, even a couple on my research project.It doesn’t have to be serious, and it doesn’t have to be deep.It can be a night.Maybe a few nights.Even just the few months I’m here.

I can’t bear it, though.I’d rather be alone until I don’t want him so badly.It wouldn’t be fair to anyone.Including myself.

A gust of wind sweeps across the cliff, ruffling my hair and sending a chill down my spine.The chill doesn’t leave, well after my body has adjusted to the cold.

My nerves are pricked.Like someone’s watching me.I pull my coat tighter around me.“Cold today.”

Olivia glances at me, ready to give me a sassy retort.But her attention is diverted.She looks up the cliffside, narrowing her eyes.“Someone’s watching us.”

Ohgod.That’s the worst.Sometimes, tourists see that we’re getting close to the puffins and want to see if they can get close too, not realizing they’ve entered a research area and that their presence is going to interrupt the ecosystem.

However, when I follow her gaze upward, I realize it’s not a tourist.Not at all.

It’s Theo.

“Oh, my god.”Is this a dream?Have I been in the fog too long?Lighthouse keepers used to have psychosis because of the fog, right?

I rub a hand over my eyes and refocus on the figure.

Nope.He hasn’t disappeared.I’m not hallucinating.It’s him.

And he’s looking wonderful, even more in his element here than in New York with his long, gray coat and hair caressed by the wind.Almost like he’s a gothic romance hero standing on the moors.

“What the fuck is he doing here?”I mutter.

Olivia gapes.“You know him?”

Better than you can imagine.

I push myself to my feet.“Just a second, I’m going to deal with this.”

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