Page 130 of Until I Have You

I didn’t consider Abigail.I didn’t really consider Bonnie either.

I considered me, myself, and I.

And now I have to pay for it.

I clutch at my chest.The feeling of break has never been so present in me.Like someone has chiseled open my sternum.

From the moment I laid eyes on Abigail back in September, something aligned in me.I don’t know if soulmates are real, but I knew we were something special.And bit by bit, it expanded into every part of my life.

I need her.God, I need her.

However, she’s gone, and wants nothing to do with me.So, I have to pick up the pieces and move on.

Or…I have to make up for my mistakes.I have to grovel.I have to fix this.

But it’s not just Abigail I have to grovel to.

§

“Thanks for seeing me.”

Edwin eyes me from behind his big, wooden desk.“Well, you kind of showed up unannounced, so…”

“Yes, but you could have told me to go.”I take a tentative step into the room.

Edwin’s expression is cool.He turns his eyes to his computer screen.“What do you want, Dory?”

“Dory, that’s a good sign,” I try to make a joke, but Edwin doesn’t even crack a smile.“Um…listen, I don’t know what you know or don’t know, but–”

Admitting to my friend that I broke his daughter’s heart after fighting tooth and nail for her isn’t the best look, but I have to be straight with myself.If I’m going to get her back, I need to be honest.All the way.

“I fucked up.With Abigail.”

Edwin turns back to look at me, confusion on his brow.

“Not by pursuing her.I don’t regret that.”I approach the chair facing Edwin’s desk and grab the back of it.I can’t sit, not when I’m so anxious.“I messed up with her, and I haven’t heard from her since she left for Ireland.”

Edwin’s jaw falls open slightly.

“Before that if I’m honest.The, uh, the details don’t really matter.But I made a stupid fucking mistake and she left as I deserved and–” My knuckles are turning white.“God, Edwin, I really screwed everything up.”

“Wait, let me get this straight… You don’t talk to her or anything?”

“No, I haven’t heard anything since she…since we ended things.My fault.In case you’ve forgotten.”

“Of course it would be your fault,” Edwin says, and it’s not necessarily mean, it’s just true.Us men always find a way to screw things up.“What did you do to her?”

I put my hands on my hips and let out a breath.“I tried to get her a job at the aquarium so she wouldn’t have to leave.”

“So, that’s why she called me about the aquarium.”

My brows jump.“She called you about–”

“Briefly.She didn’t want to talk to me.”Edwin purses his lips.

I may as well lay it all out.“I was trying to keep her from leaving and I just…went overboard with the machinations, I suppose.”

Edwin stares at me.I can’t read his dark eyes.

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