Page 127 of Until I Have You

“Eh.Just a number.The question is, what do you want to do about him?”

“What do you mean?”

Mom narrows her eyes.“Don’t be coy.You came out here to punish him, didn’t you?So, is that to punish him because you feel you’ve been taken advantage of or because you’re heartbroken?If it’s the former, I’ll get a flight right now and go kill him.”

“No killing, Mom.”

She tips her shoulder up.“Fine.For now.”

I smile.I might not know what comes next but having the story off my heart is nicer than I expected.

“Tell me, Abigail.How do you feel about him?Really feel?”

I ask the question of myself all the time.Because sometimes the pressure is great on my chest, the memory of all the time we spent together, the life we made for a month back in New York.And sometimes, the pressure is great on my mind, a vise grip of frustration with him for what he attempted to do.For how he tried to keep me in New York for his own purposes.“I don’t know.I’m not sure I…I’m still confused.”

“Well, that’s just fine.You’re here and that’s what matters.”My mom points a finger in my face.“But now I know it happened, and that means I’m going to ask about it from time to time.”

“Ugh…”

“I know, that’s just the rule, I’m sorry!”She lifts her hands.Then, she clasps her hands in front of her chest.“I’m your mother.I want you to be happy above anything in the whole world.”

It’s nice to know someone in the world is still rooting for me.Someone still sees me as competent and strong.“Thanks, Mom.”

She puts a knuckle under my chin, pride enveloping her posture.“You didn’t eat your peas.”

“And I’m not going to,” I say resolutely.

Laughing, she nods.“Good girl.”

25

THEO

Vince waveshis hands at the play structure, trying to get the attention of the kids.“Hey!No climbing on the roofs!That’s not what they’re for!”

“Awwwww,” his twins, Hannah and Harvey, groan in unison.Bonnie joins in a moment later, trying to play it cool with the older kids.

Vince huffs, rolling his eyes as he returns to his spot beside me on the park bench.“Sorry, they’re menaces.”

“And we love them,” I reply, watching as Bonnie trails after Hannah down the curling slide and Harvey piles in after her.The twins are only a year older than Bonnie, both of them blond and brown-eyed, athletic, and cheeky as all get out.

They don’t take after Vince at all, which means they must take after their late mother.I understand that pain, seeing a woman who is no longer around in the face of your child.

But I didn’t lose Esme likethat.She wasn’t the woman I wanted to love forever.

“Anyway, where were we?”Vince asks, spreading his arms onto the back of the bench.

“You really want to talk business now?”I ask with a smirk.“I thought this was a playdate.”

“No shame in multitasking, right?”

Vince is my latest addition to my portfolio.We’re working on getting his late wife’s assets in order and then further extending their worth through investment opportunities.

We had a meeting at my office a week or so ago, but then we started talking about our kids, a conversation we apparently started having at Bridget and Seth’s wedding but swiftly left my mind thanks to the shadow of my relationship with Abigail.

Even thinking her name suffocates me.

Anyway, once we realized our kids were only a year apart in age, I was eager to get a playdate sorted for Bonnie.

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