Page 109 of Until I Have You

And with choosing myself comes choosing Theo.

21

THEO

I check on Bonnie again,peeking into the living room.

She’s lying on her belly drawing picture after picture.Has been since we got home a couple of hours ago.

Our flight back to New York wasn’t supposed to be until the afternoon, but I said bugger all and chartered private as fast as I could.

I needed to get out of there as soon as possible, get back home, regroup.

Except I don’t know how I’m going to regroup when I’ve just lost so much.

I knew Abigail was off-limits and knew that I was risking my friendship with Edwin by crossing that line.Iknew.And I should have knownbetter.Because I’m older, I have more life experience.

But she was there too.She chose me too.

Didn’t she?

Regardless, all I want is peace for all of us.Including Bonnie.But Bonnie has barely spoken to me since I pulled her out of the house.Not my best moment by a long shot.

“What are you drawing, Bonbon?”

She exchanges a colored pencil in her hand for a different one.“Pictures.”

I roll my eyes to myself and go over.“Can I draw with you?”

Bonnie shrugs a shoulder, which I take as good a sign as any.

I sit down on the ground next to her and grab a piece of paper.I’ve apologized already, but it’s well within her rights to take her time to forgive me.I just know this is going to be one apology in a string of them, considering how our already upheaved life is going to upheave again without the Lyons family.

I can’t imagine Edwin will ever want to be my friend again.At least not in the near future.And I can’t blame him for that.I broke his trust.

I’m still trying to decide if I regret it, though.

I place my paper on the coffee table and pick up a few pencils, starting to scribble out some shapes.From time to time, I glance over at her paper.

She’s drawn a group of three people in a line.A child and two adults.One of the adults has red hair.

I stop drawing, try to gulp down the lump in my throat.“Is that Abigail?”

Bonnie lifts up the picture, smiling.“Yeah.That’s me and you and Abigail!”

I can’t help my expression from curdling with pain.

How am I going to tell her that the future she sees isn’t a possibility?

“Andthat,” she points to a tall dark shape in the back of the drawing.Looks like a castle with a pointy spire.“That’s where my mum is.I’ve locked her in a tower.”

Jesus Christ, we’re really doubling down on all the traumas she’s experienced in her short life in this drawing.“Have you been thinking about your mum, lately?”

Bonnie puts the paper down, smile fading.She shrugs again.“I don’t know.”

It’s been years since the two have seen each other.But a child doesn’t just forget their mother.“You know we can talk about it, if you want.”

Bonnie shakes her head, tucks the paper under the stack, and starts drawing a new one.

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