Page 107 of Until I Have You

“I was dishonest too.Take it out on me!”

“You’re still young, Abigail,” Dad exclaims.“Your mistakes are more forgivable, but he’s been my friend for so many years, known you most of your life!That’s–that’s–”

I rub my forehead.“Oh, my god, I’m not a kid, Dad.I’m a grown ass woman, and I can fuck whoever I want.”

That strikes him right in the face like a slap.

“Does that upset you?Knowing that it wasn’t just a kiss?”I taunt.

Nate looks away, his mouth forming a thin line, his stomach turning.“Abigail, don’t.”

I take a step toward my dad, spreading my arms wide.“I’ve been fucking Theodore Wallington for months now.”

Dad’s expression remains stoic.

“And it’s good.We both really enjoy it.”

“For fuck’s sake, Abigail,” Jack mutters.

“And not only that, but–” Something tugs in my voice.

I think back to last night on the beach.The way Theo and I tried to unfold our words to give each other everything we could despite the obstacles.

My eyes flood with tears.

“I care about him.I care about him a lot.”

A smile creeps onto my lips, one out of my control.“You all know what that’s like.When you find yourself caring about someone and you know it’s not the right person, not the right time, but you can’t help it.That’s…that’s what it is for me.”

Dad is silent for a few breaths before he looks down at the space between us.“You’re confused.”

Sonia’s hand tightens on my dad’s arm.“Edwin, don’t.”

Too little too late for her to talk him down.

“How?I’m twenty-six years old.You had three kids by that point, Dad.How am I confused and immature and–”

“Because I was!”he barks in return.“Because I was still a kid in so many ways, and I know how vulnerable I still was.”

I look between my brothers.Their expressions convey the awkwardness of hearing our father admit his faults.

We all know the truth.Dad was immature when we were little.He was brusque and thoughtless and though he loved us, becoming a dad was a challenge it took him years to take on fully.

Jack and Nate, though, are already leagues ahead of Dad.Jack has his baby girl with a woman he loves, who he’s going to propose to.And Nate is committed to a life with Laney and Mason.

I stare down my father.“I’m not like you, Dad.”

His brows raise.

“None of us are like you.”

“Please, Abigail, I need you to understand me.”Dad’s voice goes soft.“If he had hurt you in any way, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.Theo is supposed to be a safe person for our family, and the fact that he crossed so many lines behind my back?—”

“I did too.I crossed the lines too.”

Dad cannot process this, shaking his head, opening his mouth to say something.

“Because I’m not a fucking kid.I knew the risks and the consequ3ences, and I chose it anyway.So, if you’re going to place blame on Theo, you have to place blame on me too.”

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