Page 119 of Until I Have You

She’s been distant all night.Quiet and lacking the excitement I thought she’d have given the new job.

The excitement I accounted for.

Perhaps she’s conflicted.Maybe she wants to go to Ireland after all.I mean, she’s been planning for it for months now.And her mother lives over there, that was going to be major quality time spent.

I thought a job at the aquarium was what she wanted, though.A job here.For us.

I know I’ve gotten ahead of myself, factoring myself into her world like this.But every day that has passed, every conversation we have, a feel we are only a second away from rounding the corner into new territory.Into words that can’t be unsaid.

I want to round that corner with everything in me.So badly that I’ve…made choices to get us there.Choices that I am not sure I won’t regret someday.

I eye her, waiting for her to lift her gaze.

She does not.

“You’re quiet tonight.”

“Am I?”she asks, scooping up the panna cotta and slipping it into her mouth, glassy pink lips cocooning the metal.

Averting my gaze so as not excite myself, I reply, “Yes, I thought you’d be…” I settle back into my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.“Over the moon.”

“I’m sure that’s what you wanted.”

I tilt my head to the side.“Of course, I want nothing less for you always.”

Abigail puts her spoon down with a clatter and folds her hands on the table.She looks me dead in the eye and…says nothing.

Something is wrong.

I shift in my seat, wishing we weren’t out in a restaurant surrounded by people.

I chose an expensive, luxurious place where everyone talks in quiet whispers and marvels over the delicacies before them.It’s not loud enough for us to disappear into if she’s about to initiate a challenging conversation.“Abigail, what’s going on?”

“Did you know?”

Three simple words that could mean so many things, yet I know exactly what she’s getting at.“Know what, darling?”

I can smooth this over.I know I can.

“The job at the aquarium.Did you have anything to do with it?”

“How could I have anything to do with it?”

Abigail’s cheeks sink, and her eyes narrow.

Lying isn’t getting me anywhere.

She lifts her thumb.“The university was tipped off about Professor Ridley’s misconduct, causing him to get booted from his research position at the aquarium.”She sticks out another finger.“Someone gave the aquarium a donation for staffing which opened up a full-time position.”Then, a final finger.

Her smoking gun.

“Someonesent over my resume updated with my position on the team in Ireland.”

I am quiet, trying to figure out in my head what the best way to go about this conversation.

I hate it when I lie, and I don’t want to lie to her.But this is the worst-case scenario.That she’d find out and be embittered to me when all I was trying to do was help, assure that she could stay.

It’s what she wanted, isn’t it?

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