Page 10 of Until I Have You

But Abigail looks over her shoulder at me with a soft smile.“It’s okay.”

Time slows in that moment as her green eyes stick in mine.

The image leaves me stricken.Her long, red hair swinging, her smile drifting away, her hand in my daughter’s without any sort of resistance.

Abigail Lyons cannot arrest me like this.Cannot become the ideal image of a woman to me, not when she’s two decades younger than me and the daughter of my friend.

But between her beauty and the softness with which she handles my daughter, all the nerves in my body are on fire.

With a child, now, the idea of a woman in my life is complicated.I cannot pick someone who is only able to fulfill my needs, but Bonnie’s as well.

It’s only a moment.That’s what I have to remind myself.A moment that I replay the rest of the day as I follow closely behind Abigail and Bonnie and listen to the way they speak to one another like old friends.

Abigail doesn’t even seem to like me.I don’t know why I’m…yearningafter her like this.It’s just the image.A trick of the light.Seeing Bonnie brighten in a new way.

By the end of the way, I know three things.

One: Bonnie deserves a woman who will put her first.Two: I deserve a woman who will put Bonnie first.

And three: despite the dark pocket of my mind that is full, senseless, and swelling, that woman won’t be Abigail Lyons.Can’t be.

Unless I want to ruin my life more than I already have.

3

ABIGAIL

Maybe I’m counting wrong.

I count up the chairs around the elongated dining room table again.

Before Dad and Sonia got together, we never used the table as family dinners would only be my older brother, Jack, Dad, and me.When Dad met Sonia, it was like a chain reaction, because within the past two years and change, everyone in my life has coupled up.

Except me, of course.I’ve been busy with school and wasn’t concerned with dating.Could distract from my work.

Now, though, I kind of wish I weren’t so focused on school, considering it apparently isn’t paying off since I’m still on the job search.

If I had been open to dating, maybe I would have met the one already and I wouldn’t still be living at my dad’s penthouse.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful.Of course, I am.I know I’ll never go without, even if I never work a day in my life.

But that’s not the kind of person I want to be.

I’m not counting wrong.There’s two too many.

I pick one up to move it.

Sonia walks in with the twins balanced on either hip.She carries them without batting an eye, all nine months of their chubbiness.“What are you doing with the chairs?”

“Jack and Camilla aren’t coming because of Alanna.”Their baby girl is only a few weeks old.“So, these two can be set aside.”

I pull the chair toward the outskirts of the rooms.

“No, they can’t, because Theo and Bonnie are coming instead,” Sonia says.“Didn’t your dad tell you?”

My blood runs cold, and I grip the chair a little harder.“Theo and Bonnie?”

“Yes!Theo just moved to New York a couple weeks ago and, you know, they don’t really have any family here, so I told Edwin to invite them for our dinners.”

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