Page 71 of Until I Find You

Iambeautiful.

Jack clutches his chest and smiles up at the ceiling. “Yes, this is exactly what I needed.”

I puff my chest, knowing the fabric is thin enough that my nipples poke through. “You like it, Daddy?”

Jack nods. “Yes. I like it very much.”

He comes toward me and runs the back of his fingers down the side of my face.

I let my eyes flutter shut and sink into a feeling of safety I’ve never known before. Not even as a child.

Here, with Jack, I know that I am enough. I am protected and cherished. And I am needed. Wanted.

“My beautiful baby girl,” he rasps.

His lips brush against mine. Soft and delicate at first. “I’m taking care of you tonight. Anything you want. Anything you desire.”

“I just want to make Daddy happy.”

“You do that just by existing, princess.”

A knot forms in my throat. I sigh, my breath stuttering and, to my surprise, tears start to stream down my cheeks. My eyes pop open in surprise.

“Why are you crying, baby girl?” Concern laces his brows.

“I don’t know. I just feel…I’m feeling so…much and so–” I hiccup on the last word. I smile. “It’s too much, but not scary because Daddy is here.”

Jack kisses the tears off my cheeks. “You can let go, princess. With me, you can let it all go.”

Let go. Something I still haven’t been able to do fully.

Reading about this dynamic. I learned a bit of what is like to be a little. It is not pretending to be a child or someone younger than you are. It is a safe place inside you where you are free to be the age you feel the most comfortable at.

Growing up feeling that I didn’t belong made my childhood not feel as safe, as happy as it should have been. I don’t think I would want to be that age again, act that age. Enjoy that age.

But I would sometimes love to be able to just be free of being an adult, and Jack brings that out in me. That bratty side of me that wants to come out, that younger side of me that just wants to be taken care of. Feeling small and safe and carefree in a way that I don’t think I ever let myself feel.

There is still so much I have to learn about myself. About this lifestyle. About who I am when I am with Daddy,

Jack pulls me into his chest. “I’ve got you. You’re safe. Daddy’s here.”

I cling to him, digging my fingers into his sides. My muscles unclench, my chest unwinds, and my belly fills with heat, reminding me of the pulsing between my legs.

It’s a strange dichotomy, to feel the emotions of being little along with the physical impulses that come from adulthood.

However, with Daddy, I don’t judge what I want. There’s no need.

Because he’s in charge, and he’ll keep me safe.

“What does my baby girl want?” Jack husks in my ear.

I bury my face into his chest. “I want you to touch me, Daddy.”

“Where, baby girl?”

I take his hand and guide it between my legs.

Through the thin fabric, I know he can feel my heat. My wetness.

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