Page 61 of Until I Find You

Jack pours his care and attention into me as easily as he breathes.

I adore him an endless amount, despite not being sure how we went from begrudgingly sleeping side by side to being all over each other whenever we’re alone and not talking business. Hell, even when we are talking business, we end up all over each other. Something about all the technical talk gets me hot and bothered sometimes.

Big Daddy energy.

“Jack’s not too intense for you?” Seth asks.

“Oh no, he’s very intense.” I hope my secret isn’t obvious on my face.

“Yeah, he can be like that.” Seth grimaces. “I mean, I’m not one to talk, I used to be pretty serious too, but–”

“I was going to say, pot calling the kettle black.”

Seth lifts his eyebrow. “Well, listen, I’ve lightened up quite a bit, haven’t I?”

“Immensely.”

He smiles at me. “Is that why you came alone? Jack couldn’t be pulled away from his work for one second to thank an old friend?”

“Old friend?! It’s been a few weeks, you’re far from being in the rearview, Seth.” I sip my coffee.Mmm. “But yes, he’s been like a mad scientist in his laboratory. Plus, he’s going in for a meeting with his dad today and–”

“Ameeting? With his dad? Jeez, this guy is taking everything way too seriously now, huh?”

“I mean, not a meeting, just a–” I scrape my fingers through my curls. “Look, we’ve been kind of in our own little world of…business. Twenty-four seven, so–”

“I get it. A good way not to let the personal cloud your judgment.”

Now, I wouldn’t say that…

Throughout my trainride home from CipherBit, I’m thinking of only one thing.

Jack.

Through the scuffle of New York city, I think of running home to him. Of being in his arms. Of knowing nothing out there can hurt me while he’s around.

The world is a madhouse. Topsy turvy most of the time. I’ve learned to turn off the feelings of fear. Self-preservation, I call it. But now that I have a space, a place to feel all the big feelings that I never really felt I could deal with as a child.

And yet, through all the comfort, I’m afraid. To give in fully.

In the scheme of things, we barely know each other. And we’re working together. We should have had a contractual clause somewhere about not dating within the company. Hell, we should have gotten an HR set up before we got started on anything.

I’ve been staying at my place. No sleepovers. We already have full days of working together, often interspersed with team meetings and potential business transactions. Tipping into being together all hours of the day will make things too complicated.

I can tell Jack doesn’t like this. And as much as I want to give Daddy what he wants all the time, there are boundaries in my life in New York that haven’t yet adjusted to what we found together in Hawaii.

And I don’t want him to get too caught up in the excitement of it all to forget that there are things he has to deal with in his life. Things with Mari were left on an okay foot. They hugged and kissed goodbye at the airport like the fights hadn’t ever occurred. However, that doesn’t mean all of that doesn’t still exist in the back of his mind.

I don’t want to be a mistake to him.

I can’t afford to be a mistake to anyone ever again, not when my whole existence is a mistake.

When I get home, I put my purse down and take off every piece of clothing and crawl into my bed. Today is supposed to be a day off, other than my meeting with Seth, and after working nonstop for so many weeks with some delicious interludes, I need the rest.

Except Jack isn’t far from my mind.

I miss sleeping next to him.

My mind drifts back to our last night in Hawaii. How he held me close to his chest and whispered to me like I was the most precious thing in the world. And as I remember the moment alone here in my bed, naked, the pulse of need starts between my legs.

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