Page 38 of Until I Find You

I move to the edge of the bathtub and sink down onto it. Of course, I had to be in the bathroom where my voice can echo off the walls and Jack could hear everything if he tried.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Well, I think if everything’s adding up right, Juana Gonzalez has a master’s degree in engineering from Berkley.”

My eyes widen. “Wow, that’s impressive.”

“AndifI’ve added it all up right, her last job was in San Diego.”

“Not her current job, though?”

“Working on it, working on it.” Dave hesitates. “This is good news, sweetheart.”

I try to smile. Another clue. Another lead. Another inevitable disappointment. “I’m sorry, I’m not losing faith, I promise. I’m just–”

“You’re tired, kid. I get it. I’m working on it, you know I am.”

Running up the clock, running up the fee… Dave’s a good guy, but this is still business. “I appreciate you telling me.”

Now, I’m going to be up late googling everything I can about any Juana Gonzalez at UC Berkley.

“Of course, I’ll let you know anything new as soon as I do. Don’t give up hope, kid. We’re gonna get her.”

I don’t like the way that turn of phrase sits in my stomach. Sounds like we’re trying to grab her and tie her down.

I just want to meet my birth mother. But if she’s evading any attempts at being contacted, I’m not sure I should keep doing this. Or even if I want to.

“Keep your head up. Talk soon.”

Dave hangs up before I can say anything.

I’ll keep my head up. I’ll try.

I go back to getting ready. The other earring, an adjustment of the pins in my hair, a quick tug on my dress to get rid of the static.

I look good. Good enough to fake a double date with my fake boyfriend’s parents, sure.

When I step out of the bathroom, Jack is sitting on the edge of the bed, lacing up his dress shoe. He lifts his eyes to me. “Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, it was just…” I lift the phone up, thinking about what to say.

Icouldtell him the truth, but that would bring him closer than I need him to be. I’m already sleeping in the same bed as him, after all. “Just my dad. Calling to say hi.”

Jack nods. “That’s nice.”

Am I crazy? Why did I say that? I don’t need to be rubbing in his face that I have a good relationship with my parents while he struggles to even talk to his.

Maybe Ishouldtell him about what’s going on behind the scenes. Would that even the playing field?

Why do Icareabout evening the playing field? This is just business anyway. We don’t have to be friends.

Jack slaps his hands on his thighs and stands. “You ready?”

Dammit, he looks good. Really good. For a stuffy stockbroker, the guy knows how to dress himself. His height and length make me salivate.

I wonder how hisotherlength is…

Stupid brain going stupid places.

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