Page 136 of Until I Find You

I take her hand in mine and guide it to a new spot where I’m feeling the movement of my baby. She smiles. She can feel it.

“I want to know you, Juana,” I say. “I’ve wanted that for years. I hoped before I ever had a family of my own, we would know each other.”

She breathes in deeply. “I am sorry I was too late.”

“No, you were just in time.” I wrap my hand around hers and bring it to my face, let her hand cup my cheek. I close my eyes, letting more tears stream down my cheeks. No sobs this time.

“Please let me know you,” I say, my voice breaking.

“That’s what I want, Camilla. I want that so badly.” Her other hand cups my opposite cheek. She tucks some of my curls behind my ears, smiling to herself. “I mourn the years we did not have together, but I am so happy you’ve made a beautiful life.”

I smile. “Let me tell you about it.”

“I would like nothing more.”

Juanaand I spend so much time in the backroom that Jack has to come and check on us. I’ve been relaying to her my life story. All the details. She smiles, asks questions, and lets me talk. Almost like we are at the dinner table and she’s asking me about school.

“We’ve just closed up,” Jack says with a trepidatious smile. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Of course.” Juana pats my hand. “I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“That’s not possible.”

Jack comes up behind my chair and places a hand on the back of my neck. I may not be on edge anymore, but there is undoubtedly still tension in my body that eases at his touch. “How long are you in town, Juana?”

“My husband and I decided to make it a bit of a long weekend getaway. We’ll be flying back to New Mexico Sunday night.” She looks at me. “We brought Sofia. I understand if you’re not ready to–”

“I’m ready whenever you are,” I say. I want to meet my little sister. My biological one. Especially since she wants to meet me.

Juana beams. “Well, I’ll talk it over with my husband tonight and maybe we can all get dinner or something.”

“I’d like that.”

Jack clears his throat. “Your mom and dad also stuck around.” He gives Juana an apologetic look with those dark brown eyes. “I hope you don’t mind I told them.”

Her smile doesn’t fade as she gets to her feet. “I didn’t know they were here! I want to thank them for–for–” She looks at me, hands fold in prayer. “For everything.”

We all exit the manager’s office into the backroom where my parents are talking in low whispers. When they see us, they let out loud midwestern exclamations. The “Oh my gosh!” and “Goodness gracious!” kind.

Juana goes right to my mother while my dad comes up to me.

“You all right?” he asks, sliding a hand over the back of my head.

“Yeah, I’m great,” I say with a vehement nod.

He smiles, an almost sad thing. “Things aren’t different, right? We’re still…you know.”

“Dad.”

His Adam’s apple bobs at the mere mention of his name.

“Nothing has changed. I’ve just gotten better.”

“Oh, Cami. You’ve always been the best.”

I lean into him as he squeezes.

If I was the best before, then I’m dynamite now.

---