Page 110 of Until I Find You

“No, no, the shoes!” I smash a hand over my eyes. “I’m crying about the shoes.”

Jack laughs. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, I’m not.”

“They’re going to be so tiny,” I say through tears. “And their feet! Their feet are going to be so tiny for the tiny shoes.”

“Don’t forget about the tiny toes.”

I cry harder.

“Okay, I probably shouldn’t have brought up the toes.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

We both laugh, me through tears, until I’m able to swallow back the sudden onslaught of emotion.

“All right, so we’re already at the point that you’re crying over things being super tiny and cute,” Jack says with a nod. “This is good information. Now I can be prepared.”

“I’ll do my best not to do that again.”

“Baby girl, you’re pregnant, I’ve definitely already considered the possibility that there’s going to be a lot of side effects.”

I smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, even when you cry about tiny things.”

My tears well again.

Not going to cry about tiny things, not going to cry about tiny things.

We make it to the parking garage of Jack’s penthouse. Once we’re parked, neither of us makes a move to get out of the car. We sit in all the feelings. All the newness. All the changes.

“We’re going to need to talk about moving you in with me. For now,” he says. “I don’t want you staying in your own place. I want to be close by, you know, in case you need anything.”

I smile and cup my nonexistent belly. “Okay.”

“And I’ll get an agent so we can start looking at places. Houses. I don’t want to live in an apartment building with our baby, even a penthouse,” Jack says. “That is, if that’s okay with you.”

“I’d like that.”

To be honest, I’m only hearing about half of what he’s saying. I’m more taken with him. Watching how the cogs are turning and how he’s sorting everything out that we need to get ready for our baby. How he wants our life to look.

It lights a fire in the deepest part of my belly.

“Good.Good,” he says. “We can go wherever you want. Anywhere. Although Park Slope is great for families. And if we’re in Brooklyn, we’d be closer to the shop. That would probably be good for us. Then neither of us has to be far from the baby for too long.”

My stomach swoops, and I’m…

I’m wet? Oh my god, his future talk and taking charge is turning me on.

“Do you want a nanny? I don’t want to assume you do, but I also don’t want to assume you don’t. It would probably be good just to have extra hands.”

I shrug. “I don’t know yet.”

“Right, right. We should probably see how all the nesting and stuff goes.”

“You know about nesting?”

Jack half-laughs. “My dad was a pro at it when Sonia was pregnant. Plus, I couldn’t sleep last night. I was googling and reading everything I could about pregnancy, and I may have ordered a library’s worth of parenting books.”

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