Page 90 of Dump and Chase

We parted ways and those pregnancy hormones kicked in again. I had to wipe a few tears away, but I kept on walking. I had to. As wonderful as Brandon was, I was pretty sure he wasn’t right for me.

* * *

I looked at my phone calendar. Two and a half months to my due date. How had that crept up on me so fast? I had nothing for the baby and little spare time to go shopping, so I spent my entire day off buying baby stuff online. I’d visited a shop first, but their stock had been limited. They had mentioned trying their online store. At least I had an idea what I was buying by at least seeing some floor models. I got only the essentials because I couldn’t decorate the second bedroom with Ethan in it. Decisions had to be made, and they had to be made fast. Either he stayed forever or he had to go.

We hadn’t crossed paths a lot. He was respecting my request for space and time to think. But he had a week off coming up, something each team had once during the season. Maybe then he and I could figure out what to do with that room and what would happen with him. With us. In the meantime, that would mean knowing what I wanted, and I was no closer to that.

Ethan wasn’t home yet when I got in. He had a later practice since there was no Kodiaks game that night. Maybe it was time to extend an olive branch, so I texted him to see if he was going to be home for dinner. When he text back that he was, I offered to make dinner for us.

I marinated some chicken, pulled out the brown rice, and figured out what vegetables to steam. Lately, I’d been having heartburn issues, so I stuck to bland food and nothing too heavy, which was pretty much his hockey diet. That meant no more mac and cheese.

I hoped our dinner would be a way of bridging the gap that had grown between us. I didn’t think the tension was healthy for anyone, including Baby Kildare-Grant. It also ramped up my heartburn.

He got home and went straight to his bedroom. I didn’t think much of it, but he was home later than usual for a practice. I started the brown rice since it would take forever to cook. He came out of the bedroom twenty minutes later, wearing a baggy hoodie and with a weird look in his eyes. I frowned. Something was wrong.

“Thanks for dinner. What are you making?” he asked as politely as possible.

“Your usual. I need to eat light too. Heartburn.”

He nodded absently, then grabbed plates and cutlery and set them down on the island. He wandered off to watch TV while the damn brown rice took forever to cook.

Half an hour later, we finally sat down to eat. Neither of us said much, and I hated the tension. I thought to ask him about yesterday’s game or what he planned to do for his week off, but nothing seemed right. Finally, he pushed his plate away.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

I startled. “Do what?”

“Do whatever we’re doing. I know you told me to take time to think, but I’m done thinking. I’ve been done thinking since last July.” He got up and pushed his chair away. Before I could comprehend what was happening, he was on one knee and pulling out a black velvet box from his hoodie.

“I love you, Tangi Kildare. I’ve loved you since I was eighteen. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but you. Will you marry me?”

I dropped my fork. “What are you doing?”

His eyes bugged out at my reaction. I should have been more thoughtful, but this had come out of nowhere. “This is what you want. This is what you’ve always wanted. I was too stupid not to give it to you, and I nearly lost you once. I won’t lose you again.”

I panicked. Not once had I concocted this scenario in my head. “Ethan, I …” I froze. Then I spoke before I thought about it. “I’m not sure.”

He blinked a few times, and I wanted to kick myself.

“You’re not sure?”

I covered my face with my hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just … unexpected. Can I think about it?”

His mouth hung open in shock. A few seconds passed before he regained his composure. “Oh, okay. I guess I’m a little stunned right now. I thought you wanted to get married. I thought that was what was keeping us apart.”

I put my hands over his. “I want you to want it too.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.” His voice now had a sharp edge to it. This was going to go south very quickly if I didn’t back off.

“Just give me a few days to think about what I want. Okay?”

He didn’t say anything else. He took his half full plate to the sink and left the kitchen. He retreated to his room and didn’t come out again that night. Why did I feel like I’d screwed up spectacularly?

ChapterForty-Three

Tangi

Isat in my office Monday morning and brooded. I had a rare hour off as all the injured players were in a team meeting. The Ravens were on a bit of a skid, having lost six of their last seven games, and Coach Fontaine was giving them a lecture. Jim managed to avoid the team meeting and wandered into our office with a coffee and a muffin.

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