Page 37 of Broken Lands

“I.. I miss James.” I said, letting out a heavy breath and dropping my eyes. “He was all I had for so long, the only family I’ve ever known. He is the whole reason I’m here. And I’ve been letting him down. I’m all he had, too. And I’m letting him down. I haven’t got a clue where he is. I don’t even know where to start. He’s gone, and he’s been gone so long. What if he’s dead, Stefan? What if something terrible happened to him and I’ve taken too long to find him? What if–”

“Hey, hey, hey. Take a deep breath, little dove. You aren’t letting anyone down.” He stopped tracing circles on my spine, instead placing two fingers under my chin and lifting my face back up so our eyes meet. “Riley, babe, look at how much you’ve already done trying to find James. You’re here. You’re living among the fae that, until recently, you resented with ferocity. You’ve traveled far from the only home you’ve ever known, survived both an attack by the resistance and an attack of Void creatures, all while coming to grips with your newfound elemental power.”

Well, when you put it like that.

His words hit something deep inside of me, easing the guilt and stopping it from smothering me.

He was right.

I had worked hard to be here; I’d worked hard since I’d arrived in Danann.

As I sat there, cradled in Stefan’s arms, feeling a little more at home in this new strange place, I vowed to keep working hard until I found my brother.

Stefan stayed a while longer, hovering over me, trying to make sure I was alright. I ushered him out with a promise to meet him for lunch and head over to physical combat together this afternoon. I needed some space to prepare myself for the day ahead, and he needed a shower and a fresh change of uniform before his morning classes.

I was so used to doing things on my own that it was going to take some time for me to be comfortable around so many people all the time. Back home I’d had James and Sarie, and then just Sarie after James left. But we both worked so much we really hadn’t had much time to spend together.

I was missing Sarie too. Her fun, bubbly, no bullshit personality had always made my day brighter. I’d write to her this week. Hopefully, she’d write me back.

In an attempt to reduce the evidence of my tears this morning, I splashed my face with cool water while I contemplated what to do next.

I’d continue to attend my classes and learn as much as I could about this world I was now a part of. The more I learnt, the closer I would come to finding out where I fit in.

I just needed a break. Needed to find somewhere to start my search for James, find something to help me continue my search in the right direction.

I needed to find his apartment. Maybe have a look through his belongings and see if anything jumped out at me; if there were any clues to be found. That would be my goal now. Find where he lived. He’d said he lived in the heart of Danann. If I could find out his address, I could visit when Bee took me there this weekend.

Happy with my plan and feeling more at peace with myself now that I had a path to follow, I turned off the tap and grabbed a fluffy towel to dry my face.

That was better. My eyes were only a little red now, and I could cover that with some kohl.

I went to work on a thick smoky eye. People were starting to view me as some kind of powerful being. I didn’t feel powerful; I felt like I was scrambling, making mistake after mistake that somehow helped me. Fake it till you make it, right?

When I was done lining my eyes, I headed out of the bathroom, grabbing my bag and pulling my tablet out from inside.

I frowned at the number of unread messages there.

Shit. I hadn’t checked my messages since I’d left to meet Colin yesterday afternoon. There were a couple of messages from Bee and Stefan from last night, two from Amy and one from Colin from this morning.

I ignored the messages from Stefan and the others for now, choosing instead to check Bee’s. She had such a gentle soul; she was probably worried sick.

Bee

I heard what happened tonight—are you okay?

Riley?

Call me when you get this! Colin said you aren’t hurt and are on your way back. I’m at my dad’s and asked Stefan to meet you.

Girlllll! I’m mad. You better meet me at breakfast.

Riley

Shit, sorry Bee. I didn’t check my messages. I’m not used to this technology. I’ll be in the dining hall in 5 minutes

I quickly checked the rest of my messages. Stefan had been letting me know he’d be meeting me—he hadn’t snuck up on me after all—and Amy had thanked me again and asked what I was doing on Saturday. I shot her a quick reply, letting her know I was likely coming into town with Bee and asking if she would be free for that coffee.

I ignored Colin’s message, not even bothering to read it. I’d thought we’d been making progress before the attack last night. He’d been sweet and attentive and had seemed to come out of his shell a little. Then he’d clamped right back up and become an arrogant jerk again. Nothing he could say would tamper my anger with him today.

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