Page 22 of Broken Lands

Self-care was never a bad thing.

True to her word, Bee made sure the afternoon was nothing but relaxing. Lying in the small boat we’d managed to commandeer, the sun on my face, the warm breeze circling around us and the gentle lull of the lake were nothing short of heaven.

I felt at peace for the first time since I’d sprinted from the greenhouse back home. Bee had felt that Stefan should be given a chance to explain his behavior to me. She wasn’t entirely comfortable in sharing what she felt was personal information about Stefan’s past.

Fair enough, I could understand not wanting to divulge someone else’s secrets. As much as I was dying to know what that scene in the library had been all about, I’d made the decision that Stefan could come to me. He didn’t just need to explain himself; he had some groveling to do. Who just whips someone out of their seat and into the air like that? Not cool, Stefan.

We’d returned to our room in the early evening after spending some time strolling through the gardens. I’d been able to feel the well of power purring in my chest like a happy kitten, having replenished my reserves from all the exposure to the elements I’d indulged in.

Waiting on my desk when we’d gotten in had been a pile of student resources; notebooks, pens, and most exciting of all–a fae tablet. Bee had helped me set it up. I had no experience with this kind of technology. It was exclusive to the fae of Danann. The tablet itself was a sleek silver rectangular shape with the ability to fold in half to fit easily into your pocket or bag. It seemed straightforward, with some apps for note taking, research and messaging.

Bee had downloaded my timetable and added both her and Stefan’s number–as well as General Brand’s. She laughed heartily at me when I protested, a knowing look making her green eyes sparkle with glee.

It was Bee’s first day of classes tomorrow too, and though she’d always been fae and had learnt some tricks from her father, she was eager to learn and hone her skills. We were in all the same classes, including elemental, as I’d chosen earth as my primary element. I’d always been drawn to the land. I never felt more at peace than in the garden or greenhouses, caring for our plants and crops. It made the most sense to me.

My timetable had included information about my elemental tutor lessons. General Brand would be tutoring me in fire wielding on Monday. That was on top of the combat lessons he’d be giving me Thursday afternoons. I wondered if the forced proximity would help me crack open his outer shell, see some more of the kind fae inside. I couldn’t help myself. The glimpses I’d seen made me want more. I wanted more of him, although I knew I shouldn’t.

That night, I dreamt of brown eyes that morphed to silver and back again. Of shadows and darkness and a space filled with nothing. And of faceless monsters who doubled in size when they smelt my fear.

Chapter twelve

Stefan

Theheavydoubledoorsslammed shut behind me as I fled from the library, from her, from the accusation in those gorgeous hazel eyes. It took every ounce of restraint I had to control my pace and stop myself from bolting down the academy halls.

A few fae glanced my way as I plowed through the dining hall, the storm in my silver eyes enough to stop any from approaching me, and to send some slinking away into the shadows. They all knew not to come near me when I was in this state. She didn’t know, couldn’t have known. But they did. So, they all kept their distance. Not that I’d given her a choice anyway, ripping her through the air that way. Gods.

I was out the doors and striding quickly through the gardens before I’d even decided where I was going. It was almost instinct now. I’d find Colin, and he’d spar with me, helping me reduce the blinding fiery rage spreading through my veins until I could regain control.

But fuck. He was surely still at Headquarters and there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going back there today. Not after the meeting I’d just come from. I had no desire to step foot through the barrack doors again today.

The debate had been endless. The elders wanted nothing to do with Riley. They didn’t want her here and had come to Headquarters to protest her presence. She was an unknown, a threat, and in their eyes, she shouldn’t have been allowed entry to Danann.

I don’t know what they expected to achieve. The King had approved her entry to Danann and attendance at the academy. She was already here. There was no turning her out now. Especially not now it seemed like the Resistance wanted something from her.

Their protests had been the match that ignited the bonfire of emotion swirling in my gut. It had been a while since I’d lost control like this. I was always so careful to stay happy, light, and keep my feelings in check. They’d come after her though, and that had tugged on some deep instinct within me that screamed for me to protect her.

The first moment I’d seen her, I’d felt it. Not just her power signature, though that was intoxicating in its own right. No, I hadn’t just felt her raw power, I’d also felt a pull, a connection to her. A golden thread that came from deep within my soul and tied me to her. I’d immediately wanted to know her, to protect her, to lose myself in her. I’d vomited out some lame line about being the best of friends and friend zoned myself by accident. I hadn’t wanted to scare her with the intensity of the feelings she’d stirred inside of me.

That’s exactly what I ended up doing, though. I’d attacked her, whipping her into the air and into my arms like she was some kind of puppet, and I was her master. Fuck. Why had I done that?

The desire to have her close had overwhelmed me. After the Elders had demanded she be thrown out, I’d needed to make sure she was alright. That no one had hurt her in the time I’d spent away from her. Sheesh, I’d only just seen her this morning. I was a lovesick fool at this point.

I hadn’t been thinking straight. The feral part of me, the part I don’t understand and that seems to exist almost separately from the main part of me, had taken over. I didn’t understand what it was, why I had this… thing inside me I had to fight for control. No one else dealt with this. No one knew why I had to.

I’d scared her. I’d seen it in her eyes. She feared me at that moment. And I couldn’t blame her. I feared myself sometimes. It was as though most of me was locked away, trapped in an inescapable cell, when the monster took hold. There were so many times I’d been trapped, clinging to the bars of my cell, shaking, and rattling them with all my strength, trying to get free and regain control.

My tablet dinged, pulling me from my dark thoughts, and I pulled it out of my pocket to find a message from Bee waiting for me.

Bee

Lincoln will meet you at the training fields. Riley and I are having a girls afternoon. You'll need to explain yourself to her… and apologize. Take tonight, find your center, let her have some space. I hope your okay.

Guilt settled heavily in my stomach as I read her message. Bee cared so much about those closest to her. It looked like Riley had made that list. I was grateful she’d have someone else looking out for her; I clearly couldn’t be counted on to protect her all the time.

Bee was telling me to stay away for the rest of today. Riley had been through a lot in the short time since she’d left Sommers, and I hated that I had added to some of the turmoil she was experiencing.

Sighing heavily, I made my way through the academy grounds to meet Lincoln. He was already waiting for me at the training fields when I arrived. He must have responded to Bee’s SOS instantly.

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