Page 65 of Unknown Royal Baby

She’d fed Maryam and got her back to sleep. She’d paced and fretted and tried to talk herself into accepting the world Isam offered her. She’d tried to imagine herself flying back to London, returning to the little house she’d shared with Cilla. Tried to imagine her and Maryam there.

Tried to imagine life without Isam.

Her current situation was unworkable but she couldn’t imagine a future without him. Where did that leave her?

The antique clock in the sitting room struck two and she realised how many hours had passed since Isam had left.

It was stupid to worry that he hadn’t returned.

Why would he? He wouldn’t choose to spend the night in her bed. He had a palace full of sumptuous bedrooms to choose from. She was the last person he’d want to see.

But he was always here to settle Maryam for the night after her last feed.

And he had so much riding on their marriage, Avril knew he wouldn’t take her rejection at face value. He’d want to discuss it, try to persuade her to stay.

And...ridiculous as it was, she missed him. He was the one she needed to escape yet at the same time she craved the comfort of his arms about her, the sense she had when he held her that everything would work out well.

She ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to rub in some warmth.

Wait till the morning. Talk to him then, sensibly and calmly.

That was the logical thing to do. Except she remembered how he’d looked as she unravelled before him, almost incoherent, saying she couldn’t stay and needed to be alone.

He’d been utterly shocked, her rejection coming out of the blue. She’d told herself she couldn’t read his expression because of the tears blurring her eyes, but her conscience said otherwise. It told her he wasn’t just surprised but grievously hurt.

She couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She couldn’t leave him hanging simply because she craved solitude. Isam deserved better.

Avril found him in his study. Seeing the light under the door, she didn’t knock but gently turned the handle and let herself in. Isam sat behind his desk, shoulders hunched as he looked down at a paper in his hand.

She paused just inside the door, drinking him in, wondering if this would be the last time she’d see him. That made her gasp, palm pressing to her aching chest.

‘Avril.’

From under dark, straight eyebrows, cloudy grey eyes met hers. Her heart gave that familiar bump before quickening. But this time there was something else too, a stark pain of loss that echoed through every part of her body.

Even though she hadn’t left yet.

For the first time she could recall, Isam didn’t get up and come to her or invite her to sit. He simply stayed where he was, staring. Once she might have imagined his look was avid, as if eating up the sight of her. But that wasn’t possible after what she’d said.

She told herself she was doing the right thing, ending this now rather than later. Yet it didn’t feel right.

Legs shaking, she crossed to the desk, hyperconscious of the elegant green silk dress swishing around her legs. She didn’t feel chic, she felt drab and heartsore as she sank into the chair in front of his desk.

Close up, he looked older, lines she hadn’t noticed carving around his mouth and eyes. The scarring at his temple looked more livid and his mouth flatlined.

Was he angry or just disappointed?

He had to be both. After all he’d gone through with his amnesia and Hafiz, he didn’t need this complication.

‘I’m sorry, Isam. I should have told you much earlier. I should never have agreed to marry you.’ She hitched a shallow breath. ‘Hafiz will use this against you, won’t he?’

She faltered to a stop, imagining the fallout of cancelling a royal wedding.

Isam had worked so hard to shore up his position after the trauma of the accident. If they separated there’d be a huge scandal. She’d played into Hafiz’s hands.

‘Don’t worry about him.’

‘But I do—’

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