Page 64 of Unknown Royal Baby

For years he’d lived with guilt and grief over Nur’s death.

But the despair he felt, having Avril tell him she’d tried but couldn’t bring herself to marry him... That coming here and living with him was the biggest mistake of her life...

He felt undone.

Becausehewas the cause of her unhappiness.

He stared at the city view beyond his study window but saw instead Avril’s face, pinched with pain.

How could it have come to this? He’d thought until recently that things were going so well. As they’d spent time together their relationship had blossomed. He could have sworn an intimacy was developing between them, ties that weren’t related to their child or simple sexual attraction. The latter had always been phenomenal between them, yet that was only part of what he wanted with her.

In his youth he’d taken for granted the benefits of wealth, privilege and a physique that appealed to women. He’d never met a woman horrified at the prospect of being with him.

He felt wrong in so many ways. Because Avril hadn’t been annoyed or impatient. She’d been upset. More than that, distraught.

And in her pain she’d turned away from him!

He’d wanted to hold her to his heart and assure her they’d find a way through this.

All his life he’d believed he could deal with whatever he had to face. He knew deep inside that if everything else in his world was stripped away, he’d be content if he had Avril and Maryam. Once he’d have been amazed by that. He’d never expected to feel so deeply for a lover, had assumed that respect, liking and sexual compatibility would be enough to cement a marriage.

Now he saw he’d had no idea. His feelings for Avril, like those for his little daughter, ran as deep as the marrow in his bones, as strong as the fierce desert wind and as constant as the North Star.

But Avril didn’t feel that way about him. He repelled her.

A dreadful plummeting sensation carved through his chest and belly, leaving him gutted.

He’d taken her for granted, assumed that because he wanted her, and it was logical for them to be together, he could make her happy.

He’d thought the worst he had to deal with was acclimatising her to her new role in his country.

It hadn’t occurred to him thathewasn’t enough for her.

A shudder began somewhere deep inside, growing in force until he had to plant his hand on the wall to keep his balance as the floor seemed to shift beneath him. Through his study window he saw the lights of the city dip and blur as if shaken by an earthquake.

But it wasn’t the world that shook, it was Isam.

Reeling, he turned from the window and collapsed into the leather chair behind his desk.

He could insist. He could hold her to her promise.

If he wanted, he could force her to stay, blocking any exit from the country.

There had to be an argument he could make to persuade her to stay.

But then he remembered her torment. The anguish in her drowned eyes. The catch in her throat that spoke of despair and heartache.

Was he so arrogant he’d discount all that to get his own way?

Avril was many things. A tender mother. A passionate lover. An honest, dedicated worker. Someone who cared about others. Her joy in things like a picnic under the stars or learning a new language was a constant reminder that it was the simple things in life that made it worth living. Not the pomp and power. But the smiles and warmth.

Could he risk forcing her to stay and losing that for ever?

He braced his elbows on the desk, his head sinking into his hands.

He could have her by his side if he was ruthless enough. But at what cost?

It was hours later when Avril began to worry.

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