Page 70 of Signed, Sealed, Married

His heart thrashed against his ribs, so hard it felt like it tried to escape.

He’d been thinking of a family with her. Now he pictured them together through the years, growing older and slower. She’d be as dear to him, he realised, when age wrinkled her skin and greyed her hair. Dearer, because a lifetime’s intimacy would only bring them closer.

Adam stood stock still, picturing it, feeling it in every pore of his body.

He loved her.

He’d loved her so long, he realised, but hadn’t seen it. Yet once acknowledged there was no doubt. No wonder he’d been single-minded in his pursuit.

How did she feel about him?

Was it possible she loved him?

Or was she making the best of the situation? He shivered in dismay.

He’d known from the first that his behaviour was outrageous. He’d wanted her and insisted on having her, taking advantage of circumstances to get what he wanted.

Adam sank onto a chair, shaky fingers raking his hair as he revisited his actions.

You knew what you were doing, forcing her hand. But that didn’t stop you. Even when you discovered she’d been an innocent, and how she’d been taken advantage of before, you didn’t stop. Your conscience smarted but you didn’t miss the wedding, the chance to tie her to you.

Somehow he’d convinced himself that, because she was happy now, the past didn’t matter. She’d forgiven him, or at least decided not to hold it against him because she wanted him as much as he did her.

But itdidmatter. It always had.

Adam loved this woman and he wanted her to love him too.Of her own volition.He wanted it to be real.

How could he expect that when he’d used her so badly? When he’d triumphed over her and her brother at one of the lowest ebbs in their lives?

How could he continue to take advantage? Their relationship was built onhisdemands, not mutual feelings.

Gisèle had made him take a hard look at his priorities but he’d only gone so far. He’d refused to take responsibility for his actions.

His skin itched with self-disgust. His triumph over Fontaine’s was no triumph at all. Suddenly he saw himself, not as the conquering hero, turning around a failing company, but as someone no better than the smug, privileged people he loathed. He’d wanted, and hadn’t given a toss for what anyone else deserved.

Adam shot to his feet to pace. Self-knowledge was a damnable thing.

He’d done so much wrong and it was time to make amends.

He dragged in oxygen, trying to feel relief at the decision, knowing exactly what he had to do. Yet his breath was shallow with panic. His course was clear. But he feared that, once Gisèle was free to choose, she might no longer choose him.

Adam had never been so terrified in his life.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

‘GIGI,ISADAMTHERE?I’ve been trying to reach him but his phone’s off.’

Gisèle tucked her phone against her shoulder as she assembled salad ingredients. With Adam away she couldn’t be bothered cooking.

‘He’s in the US, Julien. He’s probably in a meeting.’

Her mouth firmed. She’d grown so used to Adam managing his business empire from home she’d been surprised and disappointed when he’d flown out for a series of meetings in North America.

She missed him. It was the first time they’d been apart since the wedding.

But it wasn’t just that. He hadn’t been himself for the last week. He’d been preoccupied, almost withdrawn, unlike the confident, teasing lover to whom she’d grown accustomed.

He’d assured her nothing was wrong but she didn’t quite believe him. That scared her because whatever else their relationship was, it had always been honest.

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