Page 53 of Signed, Sealed, Married

‘Your scent. Is it soap or aftershave? But then you haven’t shaved.’ Her voice was rushed and breathless and the penny dropped that she was nervous and filling the silence. His heart squeezed. Post-coital small talk was new to Gisèle. He didn’t know if that made him pleased or ashamed. ‘I’ve been wondering since we met. I know most colognes but can’t place yours.’

Adam stroked her shoulder. ‘I don’t wear cologne. As for soap, it’s whatever I find in the bathroom.’

‘It’s not a manufactured scent?’

‘My mother and sister are the ones who wear perfume. Not me.’ He could imagine the reaction if he’d turned up to work on a building site or in a haulage yard years ago, doused in cologne. He tilted his head, trying to read her expression. ‘Is that a problem?’

‘Only that I’ve been going crazy trying to identify it.’ Her huff of laughter was warm on his chest. ‘You smell...good.’

‘Is that a compliment, Ms Fontaine?’

‘It could be, Mr Wilde.’

Adam breathed out, some of his tension easing. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Gisèle?’

Immediately she stiffened and he turned his head, pressing a kiss to her hair. He disliked it when she tensed. That was when she put up barriers.

‘That I was inexperienced? Why do you think? I didn’t want you stopping. I thought if I told you, you wouldn’t be interested.’

Adam couldn’t prevent his bark of laughter. ‘For an intelligent woman you don’t know much about the male libido. Not interested! Didn’t I admit I’ve been sointerestedI’ve carried condoms everywhere I go?’

Gisèle shrugged, the movement making her breasts slide against him. His laugh died as he reminded himself she definitely wasn’t ready for more.

‘It never occurred to me that you had no experience.’

That bothered him. Not only about tonight, but the way he’d pursued her, cutting off her options, giving her little choice but to be wooed by him. If he let himself think about that—

‘It’s not surprising.’ Her voice was light but he heard the strain. ‘Given my first sexual experience ended badly.’

‘There must have been other men who attracted you.’

Adam’s teeth snapped closed at the thought. He hated the idea of her desiring any man but him.

How ridiculous was that, in the circumstances?

‘Maybe. But not enough.’ She rested her hand in his ribcage. ‘You think I’m a coward, don’t you?’

He covered her hand with his then lifted it to his mouth, kissing it gently. ‘Not at all. You’d had a bad experience.’

‘Bad experiences, plural. That recording was just the final straw.’ She shook her head, her hair tickling his chin. ‘You’ve no idea what it was like growing up constantly judged and found wantingin public. The press loved nothing better than to snap a photo of me with acne or a few extra kilos, or looking awkward or shy. They’d print side-by-side photos of my mother at some glamorous party and me looking fat and frumpy. There’d be columns devoted to my lack of style or how plain I was.’

Adam’s grip tightened on her hand, his gut clenching. The dossier he’d read had summarised her early years. He hadn’t seen those poisonous pieces. ‘That’s appalling.’

‘That was my life. Judged and found wanting. I grew used to rejection and not being good enough. Combine that with a guy seducing me so he could share a tape of me naked and—’

‘I understand!’

Adam didn’t need to hear more. He felt sick to the stomach. Gisèle had been abused in so many ways.

Then you came along like a knight in shining armour, didn’t you? What right have you to feel appalled, when you’re using her for your own ends?

He told himself he’d been upfront with her. She’d had the choice to walk away. He’d been straight down the line with her.

Yet Adam’s skin felt too tight for his body. His heart thundered. Every muscle tensed and he tasted metal on his tongue. Regret? Guilt?

He held her close, unable even now to drag himself away and leave her alone.

But there was one thing hecoulddo.

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