Page 71 of Italian’s Christmas Acquisition

That boy wasn’t there.

He was just inside of him.

It was clean. So much space around that bed.

Empty.

He was just so tired of empty space.

He kept it empty because he was scared.

He didn’t want to be afraid anymore.

He wanted Noelle. He wanted the chaotic, intense feelings that she created inside of him. The feelings that he couldn’t control.

But he would learn to make them better. He wouldn’t lock her away.

Because he didn’t want to be ruled by fear anymore. He just wanted her love.

“I love you,” he said to the room.

Maybe to Noelle. Maybe to his mother.

Perhaps to the boy that had once sat in here alone. Who had wanted to be cared for more than anything in the world, but hadn’t been.

But she does.

He wanted her to. He wanted her to care for him. And he didn’t want to be afraid of how much he wanted it. Not anymore. He was ready to let all this go.

So that he could embrace her.

Noelle loved Christmas in Snowflake Falls. It was always hard after Christmas. When the lights were gone, and you were left with nothing but the gray persistence of January, February, March. As winter dragged on in Wyoming, far longer than in many other states.

She felt caught in that gray haze now.

She had been right about this. That home wouldn’t quite feel like home, because part of her heart was somewhere else.

Part of her heart was with him.

So when she looked up, on the much less crowded streets of Snowflake Falls, and saw him standing there, in black, severe clothes, she thought she might’ve hallucinated him.

“Rocco?” She said his name, as if to test her own sanity, as much as anything else.

“Yes,” he said.

“What are you doing here?”

“I am here because... Because I’ve changed. You told me that people changed when they were in love.”

Her throat went tight, tears immediately stinging her eyes. “I did tell you that.”

“Well, I have changed. Because I love you. But I had... Work to do. Before I could understand it. I do now. I went back to my home. And I saw it all. All of it for what it was. My mother seeking to control everything in the house, me seeking to control everything behind that door. Both of us held captive by fear. I saw that I am like her. I am. And... I am sorry. That I’m... Like that. That I have such a strong need to control everything that... I created so much space around me I didn’t have room for you. And you were all I wanted. But that space was made out of fear. I just wanted to not be so afraid. But the fear was what was holding me back from love, all this time. And I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

“Oh, Rocco.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, not caring who saw them. She kissed him, right there in the middle of town, and she knew that there would be talk. But that was fine.

“I wanted easy. I thought my childhood was easy and perfect, and that recreating it would... Give me that same peace that I had. I talked with my mom. She made me realize we do hurt people we love sometimes, and it doesn’t mean we don’t love them. And... I don’t need simple. But I do need you. That is what I need to be happy. It could be here...it could be in New York...”

“It will be in both places. Because this place is you.”

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