Page 55 of Italian’s Christmas Acquisition

And she knew there was no reaching him. Not now.

He didn’t care about this...this thing that had hurt her so much and he’d used this to push her away rather than bringing them closer together.

Over the next few days it was a grim march to Christmas Eve. She didn’t even try to ask him about having a Christmas tree in the penthouse. Of course he would never allow it.

It would be clutter.

And he didn’t allow that, however mad he got when he felt like she was attempting to compare him to her mother.

But they had their charity event tonight, and the entire purpose of the barrage of attacks that they had been under was so that they couldn’t show their faces. Was so they would decide to call off their marriage. This trial by media had one purpose. And even if Rocco couldn’t do this now, she would.

He was her lifeline.

And he had denied her these past few days. He hadn’t so much as spoken to her, much less touched or kissed her.

She felt alone. Adrift.

It was as awful as she had feared that it would be.

And yet she was still here, so she would still fight.

The night of the gala, she dressed up in a very fitted emerald green dress with a sweetheart neckline, one of the strapless, glorious concoctions she had bought the other day with Daniela, before everything had fallen apart, securely underneath.

If only she could feel as put together as she looked.

But not even very fancy underwear could save her from the havoc Rocco was wreaking on her heart.

CHAPTER TWELVE

HEEMERGEDFROMhis room, dressed meticulously, of course. But she could see the distance there. When he moved to her, he did not touch her.

She lifted her chin. “So this is how it’s going to be?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re going to let them win. This is what they wanted. They want to stop the two of us from getting married. So you’re going to act in a way that’s going to guarantee to drive me away, you’re going to act in a way that will guarantee we appear compromised and defeated at our own charity event.”

“I am not compromised or defeated,” he said, a defiant light in his dark eyes.

“You won’t even touch me. You don’t think that people are going to notice that? You don’t think that it is utterly, horribly apparent that whatever connection we have is not functioning right now?”

His lip curled. “I am in command of this.”

“Then be in command of it. Don’t just perform. Don’t let somebody else decide how much shame you should carry.” She lifted her chin. “And I don’t need you to tell me what I understand and what I don’t understand. I have lived with you for a month. I’m getting to know you. Maybe I didn’t go through all the same things that you did. But everybody... Everybody is a little bit messed up by something. We all are. That isn’t a bad thing, it isn’t necessarily anybody’s fault. But it is the way that it is. So no, maybe I haven’t experienced the trauma that you have, but I know what it’s like to have something very personal put out there for the public to see. Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but it does to me. And you don’t need to protect the pain that you feel by trying to minimize mine. You also don’t need to hide. I’m here. And I’m willing to talk, to listen, whatever you need.”

His black eyes remained cold, but he looked her up and down. “I don’t need anything.”

“Of course not. You don’t need people. You are Rocco Moretti. An island.” She felt terrible, for saying that. After everything he had been through. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You are not a small boy stuck in your bedroom anymore.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that they dragged all of that out. I’m sorry that they’ve dredged all of this up. It isn’t fair.”

He looked... Regretful then. “No,” he said. “I’m the one that is sorry. I was completely unsympathetic when these things were dragged out about your family. I was entirely cold about it. I did compare it both to my own pain, and to my own goals. And your pain meant nothing in light of them. I didn’t care if past lovers talked about our sexual encounters, because I don’t feel... I chose that. At least. You have to stand by your choices. But now that something I have no control over has been brought out for public consumption, I get it. I feel it. And I also feel regret, for not understanding before. For giving you no sympathy. I at least chose this. I knew on some level that there could be consequences for it. But I dragged you into this, and this is not your life. I was born into a life where aspects of me will be a public consumption. You weren’t.”

“No,” she said. “I have no experience with it. But as long as you... As long as I didn’t feel completely cut off from you, it was bearable. The past few days haven’t been.”

He looked as if he didn’t know how to respond to that. And so he didn’t. That was the best that she could read of him.

If he didn’t know, he simply wouldn’t. And it was okay, because what she could see, what she understood was that her words had changed something inside of him. She would cling to that. So he moved near her, and he looped his arm through hers. And that was affirmation of something.

“Come along,cara. We will make it a night to remember.”

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