Page 66 of Italian’s Christmas Acquisition

“Nothing I... Except something. I need to go home for a while.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“I just... I miss everybody. I miss home. I’d like to actually invite people to the wedding in person. Just maybe spend a little time getting back to myself...”

“You don’t need to leave,” he said.

“Rocco, I have other parts to my life. I still own a bed-and-breakfast. I need to go and check on things.”

And she needed to reclaim old parts of herself, but she wasn’t going to say that. Especially not when the expression he was treating her to was so stormy.

“You can come with me,” she said.

Though she did think that might be defeating the purpose.

“You don’t need to leave,” he said. “And in fact, now that we are on the subject, I no longer think it is a feasible idea for you to live away from me for half the year.”

She agreed, actually, but she wanted to know why he thought that.

“Why is that?”

She was so close to him, she could feel his heart beating beneath her hands, she could see his chest rise and fall with each breath. And she could see the tangle of emotion in his eyes. The confusion there. He didn’t know the answer. And she already knew that when Rocco didn’t know, he simply didn’t speak.

He didn’t share, he shut down. Shut parts of himself away.

“Rocco,” she said. “Please... Just tell me. Tell me what the problem is?”

“There is no problem,” he said. “It is only that I need you in my bed, so I cannot have you away.”

She stepped closer to that glass pane that existed between them, and she pressed against it, taking the chance that it might crack.

“Is that all I am? Am I simply sex to you?”

“Of course not,” he said.

“Then what else am I?”

“It isn’t that simple. I cannot simply... Name all of these things. But you know that you are an important part of my life.”

“You’re an important part of mine. I don’t want to be away from you half the year either, but we are going to have to work some things out. Because me keeping the bed-and-breakfast was part of our marriage arrangement.”

It was the wrong thing to say. He growled, and rolled her off him, safely onto the cushion of the couch, as he stood, pushing his fingers through his hair. “I see. And you remind me of our agreement now, is that it? Because that is why you’re here, isn’t it? You are here because you want me to let you keep your bed-and-breakfast.”

“I’m here because you have to get married to appease the terms of your mother’s will. Has that changed?”

He looked at her again, with that same conflicted look. Why wouldn’t he just say it. Why wouldn’t he tell her what he was feeling. It didn’t make any sense.

“I... I have no words for you, Noelle. You are being impossible.”

“I’m not being impossible. And here’s an idea, you can say some words, and if they are the wrong ones, you can try to find some right ones. It’s all right.”

“What’s the point?”

“I need to... I need to understand you. Because I can’t... I can’t live life thinking that everything is okay between us and then randomly finding out that it isn’t.”

“I see. So when I am not my mother, I am your mother.”

“That’s not fair,” she said.

---