Page 61 of Italian’s Christmas Acquisition

To not have yet changed enough to be all that she needed.

He felt very resentful, then, of the childhood he had spent in isolation. Because he blamed that, more than anything, for his inability to figure out what to do with her now.

And it hadn’t mattered. Until he had wanted to keep somebody with him, it hadn’t mattered. She was right, he had gone around wielding power, money and influence, and that had compensated for his lack of people skills. For his inability to compromise. For the mountain of trauma that existed inside of him that he had to scale every single day.

He didn’t know how to cross that threshold with her. He didn’t know how to fix it.

There were moments when everything was perfect. Then there were moments like this, where it felt like there was something missing between them. Where it felt like there was a gap that he could not close.

“It is not a money issue,” he said. “But I wish to be married in the city. However, everything else regarding the wedding planning is up to you. If you wish to go maximalist, then I will give you my blessing.”

She looked up at him, her eyes glittering with a kind of joy that he wasn’t certain he had ever seen on another person’s face. There was something so genuine about her. She seemed to feel everything. It was intoxicating. Astonishing.

He wanted to capture that. Keep it with him always. Because sometimes he disappointed her, and he was so keenly aware of that. And then moments later, this.

“We should go away,” he said.

“Where?”

“Italy,” he said. “I have seen where you grew up.”

“You really want to go back...”

He lifted a shoulder. “I love Italy.” Though the truth was a little bit more complicated. He tried to find a way to untangle it inside of him, to untangle it in his mouth so that he could explain it. “Parts of it are entirely divorced from the harder parts of my childhood. I would not go back to that house. But... Lake Como is beautiful. Milan.”

“I don’t have a passport,” she said.

“You don’t need one. Or rather, I will arrange everything. And you needn’t concern yourself. You are traveling with me, and you will be taken care of.”

That was a promise. One that extended well beyond just this trip. He would take care of her. She had entered into this agreement without full understanding of who he was or what it could cost to be with him. He owed her that much. She was going to be the mother of his child, after all. And more than that... There was something indescribably pure about her. Something that he had never experienced growing up. An optimism, a capacity for hope, that he simply did not possess.

He did not want to be the reason the light left her eyes. He did not want to be the thing that extinguished her hope.

He wanted to protect her. He could imagine himself easily as a knight in shining armor, wielding a sword and stepping between her and any imagined enemies.

Though the odd and instant picture that came to mind was himself, pressing the tip of the sword against his own throat. As if he was potentially the biggest threat.

She was everything he was not, and he had identified that from the first moment of illicit attraction.

Did that mean he would be the one to crush her?

No. Not if he decided he would not.

“When?”

“Now,” he said.

“I have... Some appointments with Daniela.”

“They can be rearranged. If you don’t mind, of course.” Compromise. He had done it. He was quite proud of himself.

“All right. If you’re sure it’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay. It is good. You deserve...” Everything. She deserved everything.

“What?” she asked, her eyes filled with humor.

“You deserve a break,” he said. “Because being here, being in the media, I know it has been difficult for you.” He hesitated. “You didn’t know that your mother had an affair, did you?”

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