Ava is busy retrieving something from the back seat of the car. It’s big and unwieldy and wrapped in a towel. “Riley, where’s your chowder? We’ll go up together. They’ll be just about ready to do the tasting.”
I put on my sunglasses. “Where’s my what?”
Katja pauses.
“Your chowder,” says Ava again.
My brows go up. “I was supposed to make chowder?”
“You didn’t make chowder?” asks Katja with a frown.
Ava is not happy. “Joyce said they told you about the cook-off. How Denise runs it every year and it’s very important to her.”
“They did,” I say. “But I didn’t know I was supposed to enter.”
“Shit,” swears Ava. “You really didn’t make chowder?”
“No.”
Katja sighs. “She didn’t realize, Liebling. Go easy.”
“But how the hell do you think you’re going to win over Denise if you don’t take part in her chowder competition?” asks Ava.
“Wait. Who said I want to win over Denise?” I ask. “After dinner the other night and the scene at the café yesterday morning, staying far away from her sounds safest. And while it would be nice if we got along, since when do I really care if Connor’s mom likes me?”
Ava turns to Katja and says, “She hurts my head. It is actually aching now, and she did that.”
Katja winces.
“Riley, are you or are you not with Connor and planning a future with the man?” asks Ava, setting the pot down on the sidewalk. “Because if you are, you need to get in tight with his mother.”
“I tried. But she doesn’t want to know me.”
“Try again. Because I am telling you, she’s worth it.” Ava rubs her temples. “Look. My parents were a disaster wholoved having public shouting matches and got divorced when I was twelve. It’s a big part of why Connor and I got together. We were both going through a whole heaping shitload of trauma—along with facing gossip and prejudices in a small town, which is its own special sort of hell. The point is…he and I both have damage. It’s why we fall back on certain behaviors and bad habits. For instance, I choose safety over a real relationship because I am afraid of getting hurt.”
Katja gives her a small, encouraging smile.
“Connor made everyone happy but himself. He always had to look like the town’s favored son. It’s why he kept taking me back. Because everyone loved the idea of us being together.”
He already told me this. But I sip my coffee and keep my mouth shut.
“And Denise is scared of change. She’s terrified of it. Of what harm someone new and unknown might do to her and her family,” she says. “But it was Denise who cared for me and cooked meals for us while my mom was killing herself working two jobs to pay the bills and my father was busy with his shiny new bride who was closer in age to me than him.”
“You really love her, don’t you? Denise?”
“Yes. I really do.”
“Why do you want to help me?” I ask.
Ava turns to Katja and frowns her heart out. Then she turns back to me and says, “He smiles when he’s with you. Okay?”
“Okay. You’ve certainly thought all of this through. Everyone’s issues and everything.”
She laughs. “Don’t imagine I have untold depths. I’ve just been in therapy forever. I don’t want to think about how muchmoney I’ve spent trying to get my shit worked out. But it took me until now to be ready to change things.”
“Maybe,” says Katja softly.
“You didn’t fly halfway around the world for a maybe. And I am trying.”