Page 20 of Text Appeal

Opposite us is his sister-in-law. A petite woman with whiteskin and blonde hair. She banishes the awkward moment with a warm smile and says, “Hi, I’m Nicole, and this is my daughter, Lulu.”

The teenager’s gaze jumps from the cell in her hands to my face and back again without comment. We’ve met before. As much as I would like to ask about her job at the phone store and what happened with her uncle’s old number, it’s going to have to wait. I can’t afford to risk alienating anyone else tonight.

“How did you two meet?” asks Nicole.

Martha takes a seat at the head of the table. “I already told you.”

“Maybe I want to hear it from them.”

Connor accepts a couple of bottles of beer from his brother. He unscrews one before handing it to me. The man has manners. What he doesn’t have is a feel for story. “Riley needed a new number and got given my old one. Grandma called her accidentally and we wound up meeting.”

“When was that?” asks Nicole.

“Monday.”

“But there was gossip going around town before then,” says Nicole. “I heard talk about you two at church on Sunday. Not that I don’t go solely to pray and stuff.”

“Ava texted him and got me.” I shrug. “She was just confused.”

“Huh,” says Nicole. “That’s it?”

I nod. “Yes. Basically. Though he did fail to mention it’s been the happiest forty-eight hours of his life. Just a roller coaster of dreams come true and romantic delights.”

Connor nods. “What she said.”

“Was that supposed to be some weirdo analogy for sex?”asks Lulu, beyond unimpressed with my entire existence, apparently.

“No, sweetie,” says her father. “Your uncle is saving himself for marriage.”

Nicole snorts.

Denise, meanwhile, has snapped to attention. It would seem there are two opposing matriarchs in this home sitting at opposite ends of the table. And one of them will pounce on any sign of perceived weakness in my fake relationship. Which is fun. “You’ve only known each other for two days?” she asks with much disbelief.

“Yeah.”

“Then you can’t possibly be serious.”

Connor downs a mouthful of beer. “Serious enough that I wanted her to meet you.”

A whole lot of nothing from Denise.

“I can’t quite recall,” says Martha. “Have you brought any other girlfriends home? Besides Ava, of course.”

“No, Grandma. I haven’t.”

Denise looks like she’s sucked on a lemon.

Now to hammer the point home. I turn to Connor with my fake heart on my sleeve for everyone to see. “It’s funny, isn’t it? The way it feels like we’ve known each other for so much longer?”

His gaze is guarded. There are just waves of unhappiness emanating off him. While it would be rude to throw food at his mother, it isn’t entirely out of the question. Maybe I can fake a fumble with some mashed potatoes or something. No wonder he can’t get the town off his back. Not even his own mother will let the dream of him marrying his high school sweetheart die. Talk about toxic.

Someone needs to help him sell this story and that someone is me. “Though we haven’t stopped talking since we met. It’s just been constant phone calls and texts, right?”

“Right,” he says slowly.

“It might have only been a couple of days. Which is wild when you stop and think about it. But it feels like we know everything about each other, doesn’t it?”

He nods and watches me with interest. Like he’s enjoying the show.

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