Page 44 of The Last Days of Lilah Goodluck

There’s a chance I’ve done something stranger in my lifetime. But I can’t remember what or when. Once my audience is gone and the bathroom door is closed, I strip off the bikini and wash myself from head to toe—not once, not twice, but three times. It takes about half a bottle of shampoo to get the salt and oil out of my hair. Nothing is going to get rid of the various scents clinging to me. My smell could most neatly be summed up as vaguely pleasant mass confusion.

I dress in wide-leg jeans and a white tee and socks. Pure comfort. My wet hair is tied up in a bun and my face is clean. Food has been delivered by the time I head back out. I didn’t know we were ordering, but I could definitely eat. A sentiment seconded by my growling stomach.

Rebecca is oohing and aahing over the assortment of dishes spread out on the coffee table. It’s a beautiful display of sashimi, tempura, gyoza, edamame, and more. “Look at this! Have you ever seen such a perfect piece of sushi in all your life? It’s a goddamn work of art.”

“No,” I agree. “This is amazing.”

“I noticed you had ‘Michelin star restaurant’ on your list,” says Lady Helena with a pleased little smile. “Dougal and I eat at Hara as often as we can. They were happy to put together something for you.”

This time when I tear up, it isn’t due to the salt. I mean, Uber Eats is great, but this is food delivery on a whole other level. Candles light the room and music plays at a low volume. After the drama and action in the bathroom, it is a balm to my soul. And another check off my wish list. Which makes me think about the countdown to my death day, but no, I won’t ruin this lovely moment by stressing out about that. Not when it wouldn’t even do any good. “This is beautiful. Thank you. But there’s so much. You’re not staying?”

“No.” She smiles. “It’s time for us to be heading home. I need my rest, what with a certain idiot who shall remain nameless calling at odd hours carrying on about absolute bollocks. I swear, one of these days, I am going to shove that crown right up his—”

Dougal loudly clears his throat.

“Thank you again,” I say. “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome.” She pats me on the cheek. “Don’t forget to use your mantra. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to sleep with the crystal. Close contact can help.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We can go over how to put a hex on someone next time if you like. You know. Just in case you ever need it. Basic life skills and so on.”

“That’s enough now, Your Ladyship.” Dougal holds open the door, and Lady Helena sweeps out into the night. Then he gives us a parting nod. “Nice to meet you, Rebecca. Come and lock this door, Lilah.”

“Bye, Dougal,” I say, closing the door behind him. Now I know where Alistair learned his security-conscious ways and general bossiness.

“Getting back to your wish list.” Rebecca pours sake from the bottle into the two small matching cups. “I don’t have any major meetings tomorrow. How do you feel about me being your someone special to stay up all night and watch the sunrise with?”

“You’d do that?” I ask with a grin.

“Of course.” She smiles back at me. “If I qualify as a special person, that is. It might have been meant romantically.”

I am not going to get teary again. People being kind shouldn’t make me want to bawl. But for some reason these days, it definitely does. All the big feelings are bouncing around inside of me. Guess you appreciate moments on a different level when your time might be limited. Ticking items off my wish list sure has a special significance. “You are most definitely a special nonromantic person to me, and I would love to sit up all night with you.”

“Let’s talk nonsense all night, Lilah,” she says. “It’ll be fun.”

And that’s exactly what we do.

11

Thursday

A knock on the door wakes me at midday. It’s a delivery person with a package containing a black leather jacket and a matching helmet, the kind without a visor that leaves the face exposed. At the bottom of the package is a note,See you at four. Alistair.

Just seeing his name makes me smile. The jacket is a sturdy and smooth leather in a simple racer style from a brand I could never afford. The way these people throw money around is something else. I was on a motorcycle once when I was a child. Just around a pasture on a farm owned by my uncle. I’m excited to experience it again as an adult, and for the opportunity to spend time with my purely platonic friend. Knowing your end date makes you bulletproof in a way. For instance, it’s highly unlikely I’ll be involved in a horrible traffic accident today. Unless such an accident were to happen and it put me in a coma and they turned my life support off on Sunday. How fucking macabre. I am going to stop thinking about this now.

Rebecca and I sat up all night. We watchedThe Vampire Diaries, ate some edibles, and talked about anything and everything.

At six in the morning, we crowded out onto my apartment’s tiny balcony. The last star disappeared as the sky changed colors with the morning light. I can’t remember the last time I saw the dawn, but it was wonderful. Even LA is sort of peaceful at that time of day. Then we crashed. By the time the delivery person woke me, Rebecca had left for home to sleep in her own bed.

What a week. Given the wish-list idea only occurred to me on Sunday, I’ve covered some ground. I got a tattoo, went skateboarding, drove the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible, tried bowling, drank absinthe, ate food from a Michelin star restaurant, and stayed up all night to watch the sunrise with someone special. On the off chance I die soon, at least I can say I’ve lived.

It’s an overcast afternoon. I’ve always thought clouds are kind of amazing. Their colors and shapes and general moodiness. The way they hang in thin air. When we were little, my brother and I used to lie on the back lawn and search for animals and faces in the clouds. I haven’t thought about that in ages. No idea why it occurs to me now. I need to call him and reminisce.

By the time Alistair arrives, my stomach has been topsy-turvy for over an hour. Being in denial about him hasn’t helped. Therefore, I’ve decided to embrace how big it feels to be seeing him again. As mentioned before, I am having a big-feelings kind of week. But I can and will keep my emotions under control. Something I believe right up until the moment I walk outside to meet him.

Huh.I have a motorcycle fetish now too. Though I have a sneaking suspicion it’s more specific. More Alistair-oriented.

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