But there was also a...kindness. One of the few times in her life someone had reached out and offered physical reassurance.
“I think our arrangement will be quite...successful, Beaugonia.”
She so wanted that to be true. Needed it. So, she corrected him. “Beau.”
“Scusami?”
“My friends call me Beau.”
His smile was warm, sweet almost. She knew she shouldn’t hope for more out of this arrangement, let all those fictionalized versions of happily-ever-afters give herideas. She was still who she’d always been. A little too direct, plagued by uncontrollable and unpredictable panic attacks, selfish and so on and so forth.
No handsome prince was going to sweep her off her feet.
But maybe...she would hope for asuccessfularranged marriage. Maybe she would allow herself to dream of an arrangement that was kind. And a physical relationship that could be moreenjoyablethan chore.
As long as she kept her true self under wraps, she was certain she could do it.
CHAPTER FOUR
LYONHADNOTaccounted forwantinghis wife. It was a strange and disconcerting turn of events. He was a careful planner, and while all his life there’d been a certain level of flexibility required of him, he usually consideredeveryangle before jumping into something.
It had become apparent, as Beau had walked down the aisle toward him, that he had not considered every angle. Because he’d been struck with the strangest feeling that his world had begun right in that moment.
Which he’d quickly flicked away, a pointless thought no doubt brought upon by the stress of the past few months. First, the knowledge Zia would not be marrying him, and then Beaugonia’s alternative plan.
He had beenrelievedto have a plan, a way out of the folly he’d made for himself. It had never once over the months of dealing with Beaugonia occurred to him that Zia’s hidden sister might be...interesting.Orbeautiful.
He had always had to be careful when it came to women. He’d known, even before he’d been crowned prince, that being ruler was the end goal, and there could be no whispers about him that might hurt that eventuality.
He had watched the more wild and reckless members of his mother’s family nearly destroy everything, all for a bit of fun here or there. He’d never understood them.
He had always found it easy to create short, respectable relationships with women, always knowing that he was looking for the perfect princess—above reproach. And when he had not found it, made sure he ended such situations with tact and kindness.
Any errant thoughts about needs, wants, or desires were to be ignored, cut off, shut away.
But now, he wasn’t quite certain he understood himself. Or at least his reaction to Beaugonia. Prim and direct at turns. Shy, but not...hiding. The hazel of her eyes was a mysterious blend of colors that seemed to change in the light, with her feelings, or the color she was wearing.
Not that he couldn’thandlethis unexpected reaction, because of course he could. It was justnew, and thus a little...concerning. He would need to reassess. Go about this entire thing a little differently perhaps.
Because theywouldneed to broach the physical requirements of creating an heir, regardless of how he felt about her. He would need to make certain that he was in charge of this unexpected situation of being far more intrigued by her than he wanted to be.
Luckily, she also wasn’timmuneto him. He’d seen the way she’d watched him, particularly when she’d returned to the room when he’d been unbuttoning his stifling shirt and trying tobreathepast all that...new uncertainty combined with the old anxieties of never quite living up to the expectation held for him.
It was apositive, he assured himself as he lay in bed next to her in the dark. Plenty of room between them in his very large bed. Her even breathing filling the room.
He hadn’t been lying about his hope that the arrangement would be pleasing. If there wassomechemistry, the necessities of their arrangement could be enjoyable.
As long as it wasn’tcomplicated.As long as it wasn’t...he shoved that thought away, butcomplicatedlingered, keeping him up all night. He stared at the ceiling, hard and beyond irritated with himself for not being fully prepared for a beautiful, interesting person to now be his lawfully wedded bride.
He needed a new plan. They had hashed out a very clear agreement, but he needed to make certain the realities of their situation didn’t undermine said agreement.
He didn’t think ground rules were the way to go with her. There was a little spark of something in her—not rebellion, that wouldn’t do. Just a very assured sense of self that exuded from her every action, every word.
The woman who had approached him via email a few months ago with news his engagement to Zia would not go through had a very clear determination of how her life would go. It was what had first intrigued him about her offer. The only reason he’d held out on agreeing for so long was because she had refused to meet prior to the wedding.
But she’d systematically and carefully outlined her plan, and he had no choice but to accept the fact that it matched up perfectly with his own. That she offered him more than Zia had, because neither of them would have to pretend.
Except, he had a terrible feeling he was going to have to pretend now, because she was not the icy hermit he’d been expecting.