Page 31 of Princess Bride Swap

She brought her knees to her chest and sat there, as her body shook against her will. But with time, her breathing became easier. The tears stopped. The shaking wouldn’t go away for some time, but it would lessen. It usually went quicker when Zia sat with her and talked to her as though it weren’t happening. Or even her last one, when Cristhian had sat with her and told her the story of when he’d first met Zia.

Even now, the memory warmed her. Whether Zia knew it or not, Cristhian was desperately in love, and Beau had known in that moment that everything she had done was correct. Allowing Zia the freedom of a life with Cristhian and their children free of the palace rules meant they could build a life of joy. For themselves and each other and their impending twins.

Beau was finally able to breathe deeply for the first time. Whatever caused this panic was not from a place of reason, but she was stillreasonable. And reminding herself how well her choices and gambles had turned out...helped. At least mentally.

Zia would be happy. And this...thingbetween Beau and Lyon... Lust. Chemistry. But also at least a surface enjoyment of each other. It was better than anything she’d had back home. Maybe she had to hide her panic attacks from Lyon and Divio for the rest of her life, but that was better than being treated like some kind of abomination.

The thought of Lyon finding out and making some proclamation about...stability. It made her want to throw up.

So she wouldn’t think on that too deeply. It simply wouldn’t happen.

Her shakes were better, her breathing normal. She could return to bed and Lyon would never know.

She crept back into the room. It was still dark, and she heard nothing but steady, even breathing. She let out a slow breath herself to steady her steps, and then moved as quietly as possible to the bed. She eased back in.

Lyon shifted, rolled over. “Is everything all right?” he murmured, clearly still half-asleep.

“Of course. I just got cold.” And even though she’d gotten dressed, she still felt iced straight through. But her voice sounded calm, so there was that. “I suppose sleeping naked isn’t for alpine chalets.”

Then he did something that made tears spring to her eyes. He reached over, pulled her into the heat of his body, tucking the blankets around them. Warmth encased her.

Was this what love felt like?

Don’t be an idiot, Beaugonia.

Love—real love, not whatever had twisted inside of her mother to make her bow and scrape to Father—was built on trust. And as much as shelikedLyon, liked the way he made her feel inside and outside of the bedroom, she would always be keeping a part of herself hidden, because she couldn’t trust him with it.

That could never be love.

Which felt like a very heavy, depressing weight in her chest. And while she rarely had panic attacks back to back, she didn’t like the way this made her feel. The way tension was creeping back into her. Her thoughts whirling in a loop.

No, she didn’t want that. And the only thing she could think of that would stop it washim.

“Lyon?”

“Mm?” He was drifting off into sleep, but she needed...something. And never in her life had she had the opportunity to reach out and take it. She turned in the circle of his warm, strong arms and pressed herself against him.

“Touch me.”

She felt the shift from half-asleep to immediately alert, and it soothed something inside of her. This effect they had on each other. The way this want felt wild and free and all-encompassing so nothing else mattered.

She fitted her mouth to his. Relief sliding through her along with the post–panic attack exhaustion when he kissed her back. Everything would be okay. Everything would still be better than she’d had.

He pulled her closer, his hand sliding over her back, the curve of her hip. Till he found bare leg, because she only wore his sweatshirt.

Desire slowly sparkled to life as his fingers brushed her leg, up and under the shirt, until his hand rested at her hip, his mouth taking a sweet tour of hers.

But she couldn’t do sweet. Not now when she was so vulnerable.

“Don’t be gentle,” she said against his mouth. She wanted that wild storm of what they’d had earlier.

His grip tightened, then released. She knew he resisted it, though she didn’t understand why he thought this had anything to do with how he led Divio. But she couldn’t concern herself with his resistance.

“Please. What we had in the kitchen,thatis what I need.” Beyond thought. Beyond reason. Beyond his precious control.

“This cannot be who we are, Beaugonia.”

“Just tonight then. Just tonight. Please, Lyon.”

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