Page 15 of Husband for the Holidays

“I was trying to be strong for her, the way Ilias had always been. I didn’t realize how badly I was taking his being gone until I went back to university. Mom had started seeing someone so I thought I was ready to resume my life, too. I wound up staying in my room for an entire semester.”

Konstantin’s brows crashed together. “No one helped you? Schoolmates?”

“I didn’t have any. I’d only been there for a couple of months when it happened, then I was gone for more than a year. The few friends I’d made were doing their own things.” Partying, studying, dating and traveling. “Eventually, I got myself back into the lecture halls, but my interest wasn’t there. I was failing out of classes, couldn’t settle on a major. Mom still needed a lot of support. She likes to have a man in her life and she loves to talk about it when she does.” Eloise found a wry smile, but it slid straight off her mouth because she should have been paying closer attention during that time. “I’ve always found it better to distance myself when she’s dating someone new so I stayed at uni, trying to find my way.”

“Why is it better to distance yourself?” His eyes narrowed inquisitively.

Men were so naive sometimes. She hesitated, but the reason men were naive was because women hated talking about it.

“Growing up, there were times when the man she was dating viewed us as a two-for-one deal,” she admitted flatly.

“Lilja put up with that?” His voice thickened with outrage.

“Of course not. She always got rid of them immediately.”

“How did it happen more than once? Did Ilias know?” he demanded.

“Sometimes. Don’t look at me like that,” she said of his accusatory glower. “It was hard enough telling my mother that her beau had grabbed my butt or tried to kiss me on the lips. I didn’t want to repeat it to my brother. She always dealt with it and I learned to keep out of the way.”

“This is unbelievable.” He scraped his chair back and rose to pace near the window.

“You think I’mlying?”

“No,” he barked over his shoulder. “I’m reminded of the depths some of my sex will sink to and I’m sickened by it. I just can’t believe...” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t judge Mom too harshly,” she said into the silence. “Her happiest time in life was when she was married to Ilias’s father. She’s been looking for that ever since. It’s not her fault that some of the men she kissed turned out to be toads. The fault is mine for letting her marry one. Although, I think one of the reasons she liked Antoine so much is that he’s always taken this very paternal attitude toward me instead of, you know, being overly friendly.”

Konstantin turned, arms folded across his powerful chest. “What’s his last name again?”

“Rousseau?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t familiar to me when she married him, but... He’s no good?”

She dipped a strawberry in whipped cream and ate it, trying to sweeten the bitterness that had landed on her tongue.

“At first, he seemed like the answer to my prayers. Mom had known him for years and she had always found him charming.”

Konstantin’s brows went up in speculation.

She nodded grimly. “Given what I know of him now, I can’t help thinking he’d kept a hook baited for her. He gave her what she was looking for, though. He romanced her and he’s very attentive, pampers her and placates her moods. Once she started seeing him, she called me less often. When I did talk to her, she sounded calmer and happier. You don’t realize how badly you need a full night’s sleep until you get one, you know? Kind of like today,” she joked, glancing up again.

His expression remained stony. She looked back to her plate.

“Mom always said she wouldn’t remarry unless she was in love so when they got engaged, I thought it was the real deal. She was excited for the wedding and the honeymoon. He was always a gentleman around me, even though he was alwaysthere.”

“What do you mean?”

“At first, I thought he was just trying to, you know, bond with his wife’s daughter. But he made it impossible for me to get Mom alone for more than five minutes. He was constantly inserting himself, driving the conversation where he wanted it to go. Or didn’t want it to go. Part of me thought, who cares?I’mnot married to him. He makes her happy.” She braced her elbows on the table and covered the shame that creased her face. “I hate myself so much for beingrelievedthat she was leaning on him instead of me.”

“She used to do that with Ilias.”

“She did,” she agreed, picking up her head. “I really took him for granted that way. I took a lot of things for granted,” she muttered as she gathered her cutlery again, but her appetite was muted by remorse. “Anyway, having that breathing space gave me a chance see that I hadn’t been taking care of myself. I finally began thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.”

“That’s when you began your excursion to the North Pole?”

“Ha-ha. No. Ilias had always told me I should work in music. I’m not orchestra-level talent, but I wound up talking to a grief counselor who used music therapy. I realized that was something that interested me. The problem was, I’d already failed out of two universities. None of those classes really transferred, anyway. I found a program here in New York that accepted me, but when it came time to pay tuition and look for an apartment, Antoine refused to pay for any of it.”

“Antoinedid.” A deep note entered Konstantin’s voice that was lethal enough to make her skin prickle.

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