“Don’t—I don’t want to be anything on your conscience, Konstantin. I would hope I’m more than a duty or obligation to you by now?” Her brow pleated as she searched his expression.
He looked away, unable to express what she was to him because he could already feel that fragile connection between them thinning and fraying.
“The wedding is off.” He stated it first, because he knew it to be true. He had known it when Antoine brought up his past.
Agonized helplessness flashed across her expression, but she didn’t contradict him.
“Mom’s a wreck and she’s literally the only person I would want there. She’ll need me for a while. Then I have this Gordian knot to untangle.” She waved at the imaginary mountain of paperwork. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to marry you.”
“This all happened very quickly.” Ten days. He hadn’t even been allotted his full twelve days. That was par for the course for him so he brushed aside how cheated he felt.
“Don’t.” She took a few faltering steps toward him. “Don’t act like I was caught up in the moment.I love you, Konstantin. I’ve always loved you. You know that. I was hoping you were starting to love me, too.”
He drew a breath that felt laced with arsenic. “You told me a few days ago that you had spent years idolizing someone who doesn’t exist. What you’re feeling is sexual desire and nostalgia and gratitude. It’s not really love, Eloise.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say to someone. Do you realize that?” She moved so she was in his line of sight, but not close enough to touch. Her chin set with belligerence and her fists knotted at her sides. “Have your feelings toward me been equally superficial? Were you horny and mildly entertained and now you’re bored so you’re cutting things short?”
She was right. They were stooping to saying horrible things.
“Our marrying is one of those things that looks like it will work, but it never would have. I know what you want, Eloise. You want me to be emotionally accessible and I’mnot. I would hurt you in the long run so let’s end it now while the damage is minimal.”
“How would you hurt me? You’re not...violent.” She swallowed the last word.
“No.” Although he’d had a moment there with Antoine when he could have happily pushed him out a window. “And I’ll do my best to quash it if Antoine tries to take my story to the press. I’ve done it before, but the day will come when it gets out. It’s not something you want to be married to. You don’t want it overshadowing your mother, either.”
“Was that what you didn’t want to tell me at Christmas?” she asked with such gentle care that his heart contracted.
“Yes.” And he didn’t want to tell her now, but he would give her the bones of it. “My father was not unlike Antoine, capable of charm to hide the fact he was a monster. My mother kept seeing him even after my grandfather expressly forbade it. When she got pregnant, they married and my father moved us to an isolated farm. He had violent outbursts that grew worse over time. She tried to leave, asked my grandfather for help, but he refused. He told her she’d made her bed.”
“That’s awful.” She rubbed her chest.
“Yes. One day, he caught us trying to leave and really went after her. I got in the way and he knocked me across the cottage. I don’t remember anything afterward except waking in the hospital to the news my mother was dead. My grandfather came to get me. I never saw my father again.”
“Konstantin—”
He held up a hand to ward her off. “I’m not telling you this for sympathy, Eloise. I want you to understand why... God.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to look back or talk about it orbuild new memoriesbecause those things don’tlast. I don’t want to learn to care about someone only to have him crash his damned airplane. I don’t want to fall in love with someone—” he pointed accusingly at her “—and have her taken from me.”
“Nobody is taking me. You’re pushing me away.”
“I’m taking control of the inevitable.”
“You don’t know it’s inevitable. You’re making it happen so you can prove to yourself that you’re right.” Her mouth quivered as she removed her ring and offered it. “But I won’t force you to stay in a relationship you don’t want. I’ve always known my love for you was unrequited. I won’t keep fooling myself that you’ll come around. At least I tried. I’ll be able to move on now. Thank you for helping us. We’ll be okay now.”
Would they? He wouldn’t.
“That’s yours.” He ignored the ring and walked out, heart on a pike. He was so nauseated he nearly threw up in the car.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
AFTERANIGHTwhere Eloise and her mother both spent hours crying out their broken hearts, Nemo turned up.
“I know the wedding is off,” he said when Eloise started to cry. “No,kyría, I’m here with a press release. Can you review it, please?”
Konstantin had drafted a statement that the wedding had been postponed due to a family concern. Since that was followed almost immediately by a statement that Lilja was divorcing Antoine, the gossip around the canceled nuptials was minimal.
Nemo then stuck around to speak with Cyrus and assist with revoking Antoine’s rights to the trust. He made phone calls and canceled bank accounts and issued notices to expel Antoine from all of Lilja’s properties—including the house in Nice. Technically, they both owned that one, but it was now a contested asset in their divorce proceedings. Nemo also found her mother a good lawyer for that.
“We’re monopolizing you,” Eloise said when he continued to turn up even after they’d rung in the New Year. “Doesn’t Konstantin need you?”